You Are My Sunshine
by cloudedhearts
Summary: *Chapter 26 UP* The story of Emily's and JJ's friendship and how it evolved into something more... Emily and JJ are children/teenagers and will eventually go to college, but this story will not show them as adults. Also, I haven't decided yet if some of the other CM characters will appear. Might change Rating to M because of later chapters!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Emily caressed the framed photograph with the palm of her right hand as she felt a familiar burning in her eyes. Angrily she wiped the moist that had built there away, with the same hand that had been over the picture of her best friend just seconds before. Her mother hadn't even allowed her to have a proper going away party, arguing that she could always talk to her friends over the phone. Friends, as in more than one, even if she knew her 12 year old daughter had only one: Jennifer. A warm feeling invaded her stomach as she remembered their last encounter the night before. Jen had given her a handwritten letter, a necklace with a blue, semiprecious stone (Emily had argued that she should keep it because it suited the color of her eyes so well, but Jennifer had insisted she keep it), a mixed tape with both their favorite songs, and a soft kiss on her right cheek. Then her mother had called her from inside the house, so she quickly handed her own present over to the blonde girl, smiled awkwardly and whispered a barely audible "goodbye", though she wanted to do so much more. But the look on Jennifer's eyes had told her that she understood. Emily took the picture frame to her chest and wrapped both arms around it. When her mother sat next to her 15 minutes later, she found her daughter sleeping peacefully, a small smile on her young face. She looked at her smiling too, a smile that could've been warm if she had been one of those mothers who actually cared enough for their children to ask them about their feelings. She sighed and devoted her attention to the last Vogue edition, just as the last sunrays sparkled through the window. She was sure Emily was going to love her new home.


	2. A New Beginning

**4 years later…**

"How many times have I told you to stop that disgusting habit?"

"I'm sorry" said the dark haired girl and looked at her nails "I'm just nervous"

"Well, don't be" said Elizabeth harshly. "It's not like you're new here"

Emily bit her lip and looked down, there was no point arguing with her mother, so she kept quiet.

She tried to focus on something else than the sudden pangs she was getting in the area of her stomach, but utterly failed. She wiped the sweat from her hands, clenched them into fists, and closed her eyes. Why was she so easily thrown off balance? If she couldn't get her nervousness under control, there was no point in pursuing the career her parents had chosen for her, or any career for that matter.

After 3 almost break-downs from Emily and constant swearing from her mother because of the traffic, the car finally stopped. Emily looked at the house that would be her home for the next two years, at least. It was a very old, very shiny Victorian house that had belonged to her grandmother until she passed away 3 years ago. Knowing how much her mother hated to wait, she got out of the car. Her suitcases were already waiting on the sidewalk. "What are you waiting for?" Elizabeth Prentiss bawled at her. "I have to get back to the airport"

"Yes ma'am" Emily sighed.

"Don't call me that. I'm your mother"

"Yes mother"

But Ambassador Prentiss was already at the door, frantically pushing the doorbell as if a pack of hounds was chasing her. Soon, a butler opened the door. Without exchanging any courtesies, Emily's mom handed him one of the smaller suitcases, and turned to her daughter.

"Emily, I want you to remember what we talked about on the flight" she said sternly "Make your father and me proud. You are a Prentiss, after all. Never forget that"

"I won't"

Elizabeth made a funny looking movement, as though she had wanted to pull her daughter into a hug but had restrained herself at the last moment.

"Well, goodbye" she said limply, in a way that bore way too much resemblance to a farewell from 4 years ago. Except that then, Emily hadn't said more because her heart felt broken at the thought of leaving her best friend behind. She wasn't so sure her mother felt the same way about her.

"Goodbye, mother" she whispered.

* * *

"Miss Emily?"

Emily turned around, confused. She hadn't noticed that she had been standing in the cold for so long.

"Sorry" she muttered.

"You don't have to apologize, Miss Emily" he said warmly, something in his eyes causing the girl to feel better immediately.

"Here you go" he handed Emily a soft handkerchief, which she used to wipe away her tears.

"Thank you, Henry. Please call me Emily. I feel so old when you call me 'Miss'"

Henry chuckled.

"As you wish. Come on in, the table is already set. You must be exhausted."

* * *

"Thank you, it was delicious"

Emily wasn't exaggerating. This was probably the best tasting dinner she had had in her whole life.

"I will tell Berta you enjoyed it, Miss… I mean Emily" said Henry, as he removed the dishes from the table. Emily jumped at her feet and hurried to help him, almost tripping over her feet.

"Careful there"

Emily blushed slightly. "I think I'm going to bed" she said nervously. "I want to be rested tomorrow" She felt a twitch in her stomach, again. She dreaded the next day more than anything in the world, and here she couldn't even snitch some sleeping pills from her mother's cabinet.

* * *

Two hours later, Emily was lying in a big, comfortable bed, in a room that had been her mother's when she was little. She was glad she'd brought her own bedclothes; they were warm and soft, and at least she had something that reminded her of home. Suddenly, she had an idea. She got up and opened her backpack, where she had put her most valuable possessions. She took out a framed photograph, her eyes glimmering as she looked at it. With the utmost caution, as though it could break, she put it on the bedside table, and soon afterwards, gently drove off to dreamland. That night, no nightmares bothered her.


	3. The First Day Of Many

The ride was uneventful. Emily barely spoke, and Henry was smart enough not to ask any questions, sensing how terrified the sixteen year old girl was. He turned the radio on, hoping that the music would help Emily relax a little.

_But I still haven't found what I'm looking for…_

She knew that song. At least, not everything was going to be strange and unfamiliar, she thought gloomy.

Just moments later, they arrived at her new school. Henry opened the door for her. "You don't have to do that" she said, feeling embarrassed.

Emily got out of the car, her legs feeling as if they were made out of jelly.

"So, this is it" she said, trying to sound somewhat confident.

"Have a nice day, Emily" said Henry. Emily smiled halfheartedly at him. She very much doubted her day would turn out to be nice. The old man hesitated. "May I… may I hug you?"

Emily smiled thankfully at him.

"Yeah, I'd like that very much"

* * *

Every inch of her body was telling Emily to turn around and run away. She heard the voice of her father in her head. "Don't run away from your fears, Emily. Face them. If you don't, they will grow and eventually devour you." She gulped. "Okay, here we go", she said to herself, and inhaled deeply.

* * *

"Emily Prentiss. It's nice to meet you. How are you, dear?"

"I'm fine, thank you ma'am" Emily addressed the elderly woman standing in front of her.

"I'm glad to hear that" the principal said. She was a strict looking woman in her sixties, but looking much older, and the first impression she gave Emily was that she would be very ill-advised to draw any unnecessary attention towards herself. This woman surely was not as lenient as her homeschooling teachers.

"Your grades look very good"

"Thank you" Emily mumbled, wondering if the woman had the right report card in her hands.

"I wasn't finished" said the principal, her face turning very serious.

"I see you were an almost straight A student, except for mathematics and physics, were you got a B+. And if we don't take into consideration your very last report card, in which you got a lot of C's, some D's and even an E. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I… I didn't study enough…" stammered Emily, hearing how lame that sounded. The principal looked at her, but didn't say anything.

"I would appreciate it if you could be honest with me" she continued after a pause. "Academically speaking, you were an excellent student. Then, your conduct started to decline, and it began to reflect on your grades." She took Emily's report card and put her glasses on.

"Miss Prentiss arrived half an hour late to class, for the third time this week… Miss Prentiss skipped a whole week of school… Miss Prentiss did not attend to detention… again… I think that is enough" she ended with a softer tone, and put the paper back on the desk.

"I… I'm sorry" said Emily sheepishly, her face red like a tomato that had spent too much time in the sun. "Please don't tell the teachers" she pleaded.

"I won't" said Mrs Jones. "But you have to promise me something"

"Anything" said Emily hastily.

"You have to behave yourself and work hard, and not cause any trouble ever again. I hope we understand each other."

"We do" said Emily firmly, looking the principal straight in the eye, with a feverish determination on her face.

"Good. Here's your timetable. I will walk you to your first class myself"

* * *

"This is Emily" Twenty six pairs of eyes looked directly at her. Her face felt hot, and she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "I expect you to make her feel welcome here" the teacher said.

"Thank you" croaked Emily, sounding like a hoarse frog. She scanned the classroom for an empty seat, and found one next to the window. She quickly approached it and sat down feeling relieved that she didn't have to introduce herself. Thank god, the seat on her right was empty. That way, she could avoid awkward questions. She took out her pens and her notepad, and looked at the timetable the principal had given her. English Literature, great. This was something she was actually good at. As the lesson continued, and her classmates concentrated on writing everything down, Emily allowed her thoughts to drift away.

* * *

**7 years ago, Jennifer's bedroom**

"Hold still!" a small girl with two blonde braids commanded.

"I'm trying" said the slightly older girl with a wince. "You're pulling my hair"

"That's because you won't sit still. You're worse than Jackie" scolded Jennifer.

"There you go, now we look like twins" she said happily, and looked proud at her "work of art".

The girls giggled and lay down on the floor, their heads touching each other.

"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" Emily asked her best friend.

"I don't know, a teacher maybe. Or a mommy" answered Jennifer. "And you?"

"I want to be an ambassador like mom and visit every country in the world" said Emily earnestly.

"Don't you wanna have babies?" asked the smaller girl.

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Babies are ugly"

"I think they're cute" said Jennifer. "I wanna have four or five"

"First you have to find a boy and marry him" said Emily matter-of-factly. "Then you have to have sex with him in order to make babies"

"Sex? What's that?"

Emily laughed. "It's another word for the f-word. You know, fu…"

"I know what the f-word is!"

"Good. Well, it's when a man puts his thing in your pussy. But children aren't allowed to do it, you have to wait until you're like, thirty or something. That's when my mom had me" she explained, proud that she knew more about the topic than the other girl, who was listening to her in awe.

"Ew, that sounds gross" said Jennifer, truly shocked. "I would never do that"

"You kind of have to if you wanna have kids" said Emily with determination. "And you gotta kiss him too, and touch him"

"But I don't want to"

"You have to. Don't worry, Paul says it doesn't hurt. Grown-ups do it because it's fun, and because they wanna have babies. And they only do it when they're in love"

Jennifer thought about this last bit, trying to process all this new information.

"Can two girls do that too?" she asked her friend.

Emily's eyes widened with surprise. "I don't think so, Paul never said anything about it" she said, not truly convinced. "I think it doesn't work. See the kids at school? They all have a mommy and a daddy"

Jennifer pouted. "But I want to marry _you_"

Emily giggled. "You can't, silly"

"Why not?"

"Because we're best friends"

* * *

"Emily?"

Startled, Emily awoke from her daydream.

"Y-yes?"

"I asked you a question"

"Of course, I'm sorry" said the brunette, trying hard to remember what the teacher had asked her.

"Mr Morgan, would you please care to repeat the question for Ms Prentiss?"

"Sure"

Emily looked to her right. The seat was no longer empty. The boy must have arrived late, without her noticing him. He quickly looked at her, grinning widely. He sure was cute. Emily blushed for the third time that day and looked down at her notepad, as though there was something interesting there to read. The boy repeated the question, and Emily looked up, feeling relieved. This was too easy. As she gave the class a quick and precise summary of what the teacher wanted to know, the clock struck 09:45, and the school bell rang.

"All right class, see you on Thursday! Please read chapters three, four and five"

"That was very impressive, Emily" she said as Emily wanted to leave the class. "Keep it up. And try to focus more" she added, smiling at her new student.

"I will" said Emily, blushing again.

* * *

Emily was sitting in the cafeteria with her nose stuck in a book. Just as the main character was about to declare his undying love to the girl of his dreams, a familiar voice interrupted her.

"Hey princess"

It was Morgan, the boy from her English Literature class. Emily frowned.

"Don't call me that. I'm not your girlfriend"

"No, but you will be" he teased her, earning a stern look from the brunette.

"Not a fan of jokes? You are a very serious girl, Emily Prentiss. I like that" Emily could not believe him. Were the boys here always that blunt?

"If you don't mind, I wanted to finish my book before next period" she said without looking at him.

"Oh, come on. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I really just want to get to know you. You seem nice, and you're definitely smart"

Emily closed her book and looked at him. His eyes spoke the truth.

"Well, what do you want to know, Morgan?"

He laughed.

"Morgan is actually my last name. Call me Derek"

"Okay, Derek"


	4. A New Friend

A few weeks had passed and despite her initial worries, Emily had adjusted quite well to her new school. What felt most weird was having so much time at her own disposition, not having to attend her mother's dinner parties, or going to the golf club with her dad every other Saturday morning. Sometimes, she even missed her mother's harsh voice, telling her to sit up straight or to stop biting her nails. They hardly ever spoke over the phone, Elizabeth was a busy woman and that hadn't changed.

Not even schoolwork could keep her occupied, so Emily spent a lot of time wandering around the city and the nearby locations, like a tourist who was visiting for the very first time. When she found a quiet place, she would take out a book and loose herself completely in it, and only realize how late it was after the sun had already started to make room for the moon in the sky. Henry never said anything when she arrived late once again, having missed dinner, though he looked worried.

It was Friday in the afternoon, and Emily was in her room holding a pen and a notepad. She inspected every inch of her new "lair", as her grandfather had always called her room. Yes, she would definitely need some paint for the walls. The old wallpaper with pink and yellow flowers was just awful. Enthusiastically, she scribbled down everything that came to her mind. A bookshelf would be nice, right now there wasn't any piece of furniture here that could keep her treasures safe. She would also buy an easel for her paintings. Obviously, the curtains would have to go too. They were too heavy and prevented the sunlight from illuminating her room during the day. She didn't like the old fashioned embroidery on the walls, either. They were the worst of all, and made her feel she was living in an old lady's room. Emily wrote "BEANBAG" in large letters on her paper, deciding that that was enough for starters. She looked at her list, quite pleased with herself. Then, something occurred to her. She ran down the stairs and grabbed the phone.

"Hey, do you want to come over?"

* * *

"Who is paying for all this stuff?" asked Derek incredulously.

"My parents" said Emily huskily "Do you think it's too much?"

"Well, you didn't have to buy the second beanbag" Derek chuckled. "And why on earth do you need both blue and yellow paint?"

"The second beanbag is for you, you dickhead" laughed Emily. "Where else would you sit when you come to my place?"

"I don't know, on the bed?"

"Yeah, you wish. As if I didn't know what your true intentions are" Emily joked.

"My intentions are always noble, I swear"

"Right" she snorted, and threw a cushion at him.

"Hey!"

Emily laughed at him, and threw another one. The second cushion hit Derek right in the face.

"Ouch!" he complained, and chased after her. Emily ran away, but of course, the boy was much faster, and had caught her in no time. Emily giggled as he started to tickle her most sensitive spots. Her body went limp and she fell on the floor, dragging Derek with her. He fell onto her, and they looked into each other's eyes for about 3 seconds, panting heavily. Then, Emily pushed him away, getting up from the floor. There was a moment of awkward silence in the room, and then, a loud knock on the door.

"Yes?" asked Emily feebly.

"Dinner's ready, Emily. Why don't you and Mr. Morgan come to the dining room?"

Emily mentally thanked Henry for being so discrete and not entering her room. If he had seen them breathing heavily and looking embarrassed, he surely would've jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Of course, we will be there in five" she answered. "Come on" she said to her friend. "Berta cooks like you wouldn't believe"

* * *

Wow, Emily hadn't exaggerated when she had praised Berta's cooking skills. "Thank you very much, it was extremely delicious" the boy told the corpulent woman, whose face glowed with pride.

"What did I tell you?" Emily beamed at him.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"I would never say no to that. Especially if it's with my favorite girl"

Emily blushed, remembering what had happened in her bedroom before.

"Whoa, aren't you a Casanova. We've known each other for about five seconds, and I'm already your favorite"

"My favorite and my only one"

"I'm glad to hear that. What movie do you want to see?"

"Do you have 'Terminator'?"

"Are you kidding me, Morgan?"

"No? Well, you pick the movie. I watch pretty much everything"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, both teens were sitting on the couch of her late grandmother's living room. Derek had installed the new VCR earlier, and Berta had made them fresh popcorn. Emily had found some blankets in her closet. Everything was set for a long and cozy movie night. Emily cuddled herself against Derek, not feeling uncomfortable at all. They were going to watch a horror movie, and those always scared the hell out of her. Derek happily obliged and wrapped his arm around her, though not feeling as comfortable as his new friend. He had definitely felt something before in Emily's room, even if it was just a tiny spark. He had to be careful, or he would ruin everything.


	5. An Old Friend

Emily sighed. Only five more minutes, and she would be free. When the school bell finally rang, she grabbed her bag and rushed outside the classroom.

"Where are you going?" Derek called after her.

Emily turned around and waved at him.

"See you later, ok?"

Henry was already waiting for her in the car.

"Hey Henry" Emily greeted him.

"Good day to you too, Emily. Where are we going today?"

"To the bookshop, please"

Henry smiled. "Another new release?"

Emily nodded. "And a very good one too. I just need to get a copy before it's sold out"

On their way to the bookstore, Emily didn't stop chatting about the new book she was going to buy, and about the previous books of that same author. Henry didn't say anything, just enjoying seeing his new protégé so happy.

"Here it is" Emily squeaked. "Thanks, Henry" she said, pulling the man into a quick hug.

"Wait, when shall I return to pick you up…?"

But Emily was already gone.

* * *

Emily entered the little bookstore and looked around, immediately spotting the little desk with the new releases. Her eyes went wide – there was only one copy left!

She reached out to take it, but someone was faster. A blonde girl had already grabbed the object of her desire. Emily cursed.

"Did you say something?" the other girl asked, turning around.

Emily was in shock.

"J-Jennifer?"

The blonde girl froze, as she recognized her long lost, formerly best friend.

"Emily?" she whispered. "What are you doing here? How… when…?" she broke off, not being able to articulate another word.

"A couple of weeks ago" Emily said, her words leaving her mouth in a quick succession.

"I didn't know you still lived here, my mom told me you moved away… Oh my god" Emily shook her head, still not being able to believe who she'd just ran into.

"I did… me and mom did, but dad stayed… he was getting too lonely all by himself"

"Oh" was everything Emily managed to say. "I… do you wanna grab a cup of coffee somewhere?"

"I would love to" Jennifer said and smiled warmly at her.

Emily's insides began to burn.

* * *

"Henry, thank god you're still here. This is Jennifer"

"_The_ Jennifer?" he asked, astonished. "Well, hello there, Miss Jareau. What an exceptionally pleasant surprise"

"I'm no Miss, Mister" said Jennifer confused. "Everyone calls me JJ"

"I think I will stick with Jennifer" Henry said to her, barely containing a chuckle. Come on, you two. Where do you want to go?"

* * *

"Thank you Henry" said Emily. "Yes, thank you very much Henry" JJ added.

He had dropped them off at a small café in the town center, a cozy little place with orange lampshades and vintage looking furniture.

"Where do you want to sit?" asked Emily, looking around.

Jennifer was looking at a small booth in one of the darker corners of the room. "There" she pointed.

"Okay" Emily nodded. "Let me take your jacket"

"Oh you don't have to do that" said Jennifer quickly, but she was already removing her dark blue coat, handing it over to the brunette.

Emily watched Jennifer from across the room; her nerves were threatening to fail her like so many times before. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Relax, it's just Jennifer" she told herself "You know her, you don't have to be nervous"

Somehow, that worked, and she returned to the booth were Jennifer - or JJ - was sitting, waiting for her.

"I ordered two coffees for us" she said, smiling at Emily. "I hope you like latte macchiato"

"I do, thank you" replied Emily, sitting down opposite the blonde.

"So…" she started.

"So…" repeated Jennifer, not sure how to start this conversation.

"How have you been?" asked Emily.

"I… it was hard, when you left" said Jennifer truthfully. "All I had was the book with the poem you wrote inside for me. I tried to call you, but somehow my phone calls never went through. I also wrote to you… every Friday… during the first year after you left. But you never wrote back. Why?" she asked in a hurt voice, which tore Emily's heart apart.

"But I did write to you… I wrote to you almost every day, for three months… but since you never replied, I thought… I thought that you had forgotten me…"

"Oh Emily…"

Emily looked at her sadly.

"I don't understand, your mom gave me your new address" said JJ. "How can so many letters get lost in the mail?"

"You'll have to ask my mother", said Emily through clenched teeth, suspecting the worst. She was almost sure Elizabeth Prentiss had intercepted both Jennifer's and her own letters, to "protect her" from the pain of "loosing" her best friend.

"Do you think she…?" Jennifer didn't even dare to say it out loud. Sure, Emily's mother had always been super strict and very controlling of her only child, but keeping her letters away from her, making her suffer more than necessary? JJ could not believe that.

"How else…?" Emily started, but broke off. It was of no use, she could not change what had happened in the past. "I'm so sorry you never got my letters" she said instead.

"Me too. I missed you terribly. I cried my eyes out every night for a whole month"

Emily said nothing. Jennifer didn't need to know that she still cried over her sometimes. And that she had her picture on her bedside table.

"Em?"

Emily flinched.

"I can call you that, right?" asked JJ carefully.

"Of course. It's just… my boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… used to call me that"

"Oh…"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Emily asked suddenly.

Jennifer shook her head.

"No… I had a couple of flings, but nothing else"

"_A couple of flings_?" Emily repeated, her heart aching. "How old are you, exactly?"

Jennifer chuckled. "Still a year and a half younger than you"

Emily blushed. Of course, that was a stupid question. She knew Jennifer's birthday by heart.

"Relax, it's not what you think. I just make out with them in the locker room when nobody's there"

"Good to know" said Emily dryly, having heard more that she wanted to.

"Come on, you wanna tell me that you never…?"

"I had a boyfriend, back in Rome" she said vaguely. "We're not together anymore"

"Oh. I'm sorry" said Jennifer sympathetically.

"Don't be. It ended kind of badly"

"Why, what happened?"

Emily swallowed hard.

Just in that moment, their coffees arrived.

"So, what's the deal with your new nickname, JJ?" Emily asked her, hoping to divert the conversation into less dangerous territories.

* * *

When Emily came back from the restrooms, Jennifer was gone. Her coat was waiting for her on the table, and after she picked it up to put it on, she found what JJ had left for her underneath it. It was the book she had tried to buy in the bookstore, and a napkin with Jennifer's address and phone number on it. "I'm so sorry, Em, I had to go. Call me" she had written above it in her very feminine, perfect handwriting. Emily sighed. Of course she would.


	6. The Birthday Party

Where was that goddamn napkin? Emily swore. She only hoped it hadn't been thrown away by one of the maids. The phonebook, of course! Why hadn't she thought of that earlier?

"J… Jacobson… Jansson… January… Jared…" Nope, no Jareau there. What if…? Emily ran to the phone, and dialed a well-known number to her.

"Hello, this is Jennifer Jareau speaking"

Emily hang up, feeling mad at herself. For god's sake, she was calling her best friend, damn it! She dialed JJ's number again.

"Yes, hello? This is Jennifer" JJ said, slightly annoyed.

"Hi Jennifer, it's me, Emily" she said, sounding like a teeny tiny mouse.

"Oh, hi Emily!" JJ said cheerfully. "I thought it was someone trying to sell us electric blankets again. Those people never give up"

"Yeah, they're pretty annoying" Emily agreed quickly.

"I'm sorry I left you at the café the other day. I had to go to my cheerleader practice"

Jennifer was a cheerleader?

"That's ok. Thank you so much for the book. You really didn't have to…"

"Oh, don't worry. It turns out my mom had bought a copy earlier that day. Consider it a belated birthday gift. Or an early Christmas present. Speaking of birthdays… I know it's kind of a longshot, but… are you free tomorrow? I'm having a birthday party at my place"

"Tomorrow?" Emily croaked.

"Yeah, starting at 8 pm. But if you want you can come earlier"

"I would love to come" said Emily, barely containing her excitement.

"Great! It's a date then"

"It is?" Emily asked stupidly.

Jennifer laughed.

"You know what I mean. Oh, dad's calling me, I have to go" she said, sounding truly sorry. "Bye, Emily. I'm thrilled that you're back"

"Bye, JJ"

"I like that"

"What?"

"The way you say my nickname, Em"

"I like how you say mine too"

* * *

"My parents are out of town" JJ told Emily.

"Really? They let you have a party all by yourself?"

"Yeah, they're kind of cool, you know. And they trust me completely. That's why I had to hide the liquor in the basement" she grinned mischievously.

"You bought alcohol? But we're all underage! We could get into serious trouble"

"Don't worry, my uncle owns a liquor store. He got me all the stuff for free, and he's going to check on us from time to time"

"Your uncle Larry? But he's hardly older than we are!" said Emily desperately.

"He's twenty six. Jesus, Emily, would you calm down? One would think you've never been to a party"

"Well... you know my parents" said Emily sourly. "No parties for you until you turn eighteen" she mimicked her mother's voice.

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah, and that's why I got myself into trouble in the first place. My boyfriend was a couple of years older than me, and he took me to all this wild college parties..." Emily's voice trailed off, she felt she had already said too much.

"I promise you nothing bad will happen" JJ said reassuringly.

* * *

Just minutes after the girls had prepared everything for Jennifer's fifteenth birthday party, the first guests arrived. They were a couple of kids from JJ's class, Emily didn't know them. Jennifer greeted all of them, and invited them into the living room, where Emily handed each one a soda. Then, she reunited with Jennifer in the kitchen. They had to look after the pizzas, or else they would burn.

"By the way, I invited that boy you always hang out with" JJ informed her. "Derek Morgan, right?"

"How do you know him?" asked Emily "And how do you know he's my friend?"

"A friend of mine knows him, and he told me you two are always together"

"Oh" said Emily. "How come I never see you at school?" she asked.

"Well, I'm not even a junior yet. We're separated from you guys because the school has so many students"

"That's a shame. I would love to have you around and see you more often"

"Me too"

The doorbell rang. "Oh, more guests!" exclaimed JJ with excitement, and left Emily alone in the kitchen. She returned in the company of a very tall, very good looking, raven haired boy, who looked at least seventeen.

"Emily, this is Ian. Ian, Emily"

Ian smiled, and offered Emily his hand.

"Emily Prentiss. I've heard so much about you"

"You have?"

"Yes, JJ doesn't shut up about you"

"Oh shut up, Ian" Jennifer told the older boy, blushing almost unnoticeably.

Ian pulled her closer, and…

_kissed her._

Emily almost dropped her glass of soda. Hadn't JJ told her she didn't have a boyfriend? Was Ian one of her 'flings'?

"Ian, you are impossible" laughed JJ, and shoved him away.

Emily excused herself, and went to the living room. Where was the f*cking alcohol? She needed a drink. Emily helped herself to a beer, and took it outside the Jareau's porch, hoping the chilly weather would prevent any other guests to join her there. Much to her dismay, she saw JJ and Ian leaning against the car, kissing.

* * *

"What's with the pout, princess?"

"Nothing. And don't call me princess"

"Ok. But it suits you. Wanna dance?"

"Fine"

Any distraction was welcomed, anything to help her forget the image of Jennifer and her _boyfriend_ making out outside on the porch. Emily let Derek guide her to the dance floor, where a couple of kids were already moving their bodies in a funky manner.

"Groovy!" Derek exclaimed. Emily had to admit this was a lot of fun. Morgan made funny grimaces at her, making her laugh. He was a very gifted dancer, swirling her around with no effort. When a slow, romantic tune began to play, Derek took Emily's hands and put them around his neck, then putting his own on the girl's waist. Emily felt her cheeks burn. Hopefully nobody from their class saw them together like this. She would die. As the song continued to play, Emily looked into her dance partner's eyes, and wondered if she could love this handsome, chocolate-skinned, kind boy with his charming grin. She wanted - no, she had to - try something. She leaned in, and kissed him on the lips, and then rested her head on his chest.

"Let's go upstairs" Derek said suddenly. "I need to tell you something"

* * *

"What did you want to tell me?"

Derek looked at her expressive brown eyes, remaining silent. Then, he slowly came closer, until their bodies were just millimeters apart. Giving in to a sudden instinct, Emily closed her eyes. She felt a little bit dizzy from the alcohol. Two seconds later, she felt Derek's warm lips brushing slightly against her own. Her heartbeat began to speed up, as the boy slowly parted her lips with his tongue, gently urging her to grant him access to her mouth. He was taking his time, his hands resting on her hips, his mouth abandoning Emily's fleshy lips for a while. He started to plant soft kisses on her cheek, leaving a trail of hot breath as he moved further down to her neck and finally to her ear, nibbling carefully at it. A soft moan escaped Emily's mouth, which encouraged Derek to continue sucking and nibbling at her neck. Emily inhaled sharply. "No, stop that. People will see it" she protested, pulling away from him.

"Let them see. Let them see that you're mine, Emily Prentiss" he groaned.

"But I'm not" she said, before their lips met again. The second kiss was much more passionate and fierce, and soon left both teenagers out of breath. Derek pulled her even closer and started to kiss her neck again, until sounds of pleasure were leaving Emily's mouth. Forgetting he wanted to take things slow, he crushed his mouth onto her swollen lips, and pushed her against the wall. He pinned Emily's left arm above her head, and slowly started licking the sensitive skin on her cleavage. With his right hand, he pulled up her tank top, revealing a black lace bra. Derek let go of her arm and got down on his knees to kiss her lower abdomen, and trace circles around it with his tongue.

"Oh god Morgan" Emily whimpered, her hands roaming through his hair. She didn't even notice how the boy skilfully opened the zipper of her jeans and pulled them down, kissing her through the fabric of her panties. He got up to meet with her lips one more time, pressing his body fervently against hers. Emily could feel his erection through the thin layer of her undies. Her whole body stiffened when Derek started to pull down that last piece of garment separating him from her bare skin.

"No, stop" she said, panic rising in her voice. He immediately let go of her, wondering what he had done wrong. He didn't have to look at Emily's face to sense that something was off. Her lips and shoulders were trembling, and tears were glistering in her eyes. He hurriedly rearranged her clothes, and pulled her into a tight embrace. Emily started to sob against his shoulder, and Derek rocked her back and forth, as he had done with all his baby cousins.

"I'm so sorry, Em" he whispered against her ear. "I shouldn't have done that. Not like this. You deserve so much better"

* * *

"Emily? Derek? What are you guys doing here?"

"Emily wasn't feeling very well"

JJ quickly looked at her best friend and at the boy she hardly knew. "What did you do to her?" she barked.

"Nothing, I swear! She remembered something, but she won't talk to me. Maybe you could try and talk to her; I sense it's something a little... delicate"

Jennifer nodded. "Thanks, Derek. And sorry that I yelled at you"

"Hey, no worries, I get it. I would've shouted at myself too. We were kissing and... making out, and everything was fine, until she wanted me to stop. Don't worry, I stopped", he added hastily, frightened of the murderous look the blonde hat shot at him. "But then she started crying, and she hasn't stopped... I'm really worried"

"I will take care of her. Could you please go down and check on the people? I think they're starting to behave a little too wildly."

"Sure, no problem"

"Thank you"

As soon as Derek had left, Jennifer kneeled down beside the inconsolable girl and took her hands in hers.

"Emily, sweetie, what's the matter?"

The brunette sobbed even harder, a fresh waterfall streaming down her face.

She could never tell anyone…

* * *

**Well, first of all, thanks to the three people who have reviewed so far! I *love* reviews :D **

**Do you think this chapter is still ok for a T-rated story? Or should I change it to M?**

**-cloudedhearts**


	7. The First Night Together

Emily's head felt as if a train had rolled over it.

She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Sunrays were tickling her nose and blinding her sight. Slowly, the events of last night came rushing to her mind, all of them. A sharp pain hit her chest, and the urge to cry overwhelmed her once again. She let a few tears run freely over her cheeks and fall on the blanket, before she angrily wiped them away.

"Not now" she said to herself. She looked around. This must be Mr. and Mrs. Jareau's bedroom, it looked the same way she remembered it, only the wardrobe was new. The old, heavy one made of dark wood had been replaced with a much bigger one made of oak. How had she ended up in the bed? That was the only thing she didn't remember.

Emily heard soft snoring sounds coming from the blanket next to her. Oh god, no! Did she…? No, she had pushed him away before anything could happen…

The blanket moved, and revealed a very sleepy looking blonde girl with the brightest blue eyes.

"JJ!"

"Hey Em" said Jennifer, suppressing a yawn. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Like a baby. Why are we in your parent's bed?"

"I don't know. The boys must have put us to bed. We had a very long talk last night, remember?"

Emily surely did.

"The boys?"

"Yeah, Ian and Derek. They stayed here too I think"

Emily's stomach twisted in revulsion at the mentioning of Ian's name.

"Hey, do you wanna hit the showers first? I wanna sleep a couple more minutes"

"I don't know. I should probably leave. I don't have any clean clothes" said Emily, not wanting to look her friend in the eyes.

"That's ok. You can have some of mine. I'll even let you pick my favorite ones" she teased.

"I don't know…"

"Emily Lauren Prentiss, we used to exchange clothes all the time when we were little. It's no big deal"

"Fine, but I'm not wearing your pink sweater with the unicorn"

* * *

Emily looked around. Jennifer's room was very different from the little girl's dream in white and pink Emily had stored in her mind. The only object she recognized besides the furniture was JJ's teddy bear, Mr. Pickles. It soothed Emily that JJ hadn't thrown him away, he had always been a faithful playmate to the girls, alternately being the child when they played "family" or a big, ferocious beast who wanted to devour them, when they played "adventure".

Emily sat on the bed and flattened JJ's colorful bedspread with her hands. A photograph on the night table caught her attention. It showed Jennifer with her big sister, Jacqueline. Jen was about eight or nine when the picture was taken, making Jackie the same age JJ was now. Both girls were smiling at whoever had taken the picture, but Emily thought the older Jareau girl had a sadness in her eyes that was hard to grasp. Jennifer had followed Emily's gaze, and when Emily looked away from the picture, their eyes met. A flash of the same emotion the brunette had just detected in Jennifer's sister crossed her friend's face, but it was over so quickly Emily wasn't sure her own emotions weren't playing tricks on her.

JJ turned around and opened her wardrobe. A cry of surprise left Emily's mouth.

"Wow!"

"I get that a lot" Jennifer grinned.

"What do you do with all that clothes and shoes?"

"Well, most of the times, I wear them" JJ answered amused. "You would think an ambassador's daughter owned like ten times more stuff"

"More like half of it. Ohh, this is beautiful!" Emily exclaimed, taking a blue strapless dress from the wardrobe.

"It used to belong to Jackie"

There it was again, the sadness from before. Except this time Emily not only saw it, she heard it in JJ's voice too.

"It must be hard for you that she's away at college"

"She… It is. I miss her so much. I sometimes wear her clothes because it makes me feel close to her. They still carry her scent..."

"I think it's great you guys are so close. I've always wanted a big sister. I think it would've made living with my mother much more bearable"

"I bet it would've" answered JJ absentmindedly. "Anyways, do you mind if I go first? You can pick some clothes in the meantime, I won't be long"

"Of course not, you go first, I'll wait here"

"Thank you"

Before Emily could say anything, JJ had stripped off her clothes and was standing in front of her, only wearing a pair of red panties with white dots and baby blue lace on the sides, and a matching bra. Oh sweet mother of Jesus, Emily was not prepared for this breathtaking sight. She swallowed, a little confused as to why she was staring at JJ without being able to take her eyes off her almost naked body. It was perfect, with all the right curves in the right places, firm and supple at the same time. Emily begged to God and the angels above she wouldn't take off her underwear too. She wasn't comfortable with seeing other people naked; let alone showing herself naked to others.

Jennifer hesitated for a brief moment.

"Do you want to… should we shower together?" she asked timidly.

"What?" Emily couldn't believe her ears.

"I mean, that way I can rub your back, and you can rub mine… it's always so hard to do that on your own" JJ said, suddenly looking away.

"Uhm… I… I prefer to shower alone" Emily said a little harshly.

"Sorry, I didn't want to offend you" said Jennifer, sounding distressed. "It's just… we used to take baths together all the time, remember?"

"Yeah, when we were like four and five"

"Again, I'm sorry"

Emily said nothing.

"Well, be right back" JJ said quietly.

* * *

**Emily's bedroom, 11 years ago**

"But I don't want to be the mommy, why do I always have to be the mommy?" whined Jennifer.

"Because I'm bigger than you"

"So?"

"So, the daddy has to be bigger than the mommy, that's how it is. If you play the mommy, we can play princess afterwards" she offered in a more conciliatory tone.

"Ok, but you have to do what I say"

"Deal"

Both girls grinned, each one convinced that they'd gotten the better part of the deal. Jennifer hoped this game would be over soon. Being the mommy was boring – all she could do was staying at home cooking and cleaning until her husband (Emily) and her son (the teddy) came home. Meanwhile, Emily was out having adventures, because she was an "archeologo-ist". It was not fair.

"Hello darling. Have you missed me?" said Emily, trying to give her voice a deeper note.

"Yes, my love. Here's your dinner"

"Thank you honey, it was delicious. I'm tired, let's go to bed"

Jennifer hated that part.

"Emily? Jennifer? What are you girls up to?"

Because nobody answered her, and it was unusually quiet on the other side of the door, Elizabeth Prentiss opened the door to her daughter's bedroom. What she found there did not amuse her at all.

"Emily!"

"Mommy!"

"Emily, get off of Jennifer at once! What are you doing?"

"We were just playing, mom. Jennifer's the mommy and I'm the daddy" said Emily, tearing up.

Jennifer looked from mother to daughter, frightened. Had they done something bad?

"That's not a very nice game to play, sweetie" said Elizabeth, her voice much more calm.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not something kids should be doing. It's something only grown-ups do"

"Are we allowed to play princess?" Jennifer piped up.

Elizabeth smiled at the younger girl.

"Of course, sweetheart. Now that's a much more suitable game for little girls. Do you want me to get the tiaras?"

* * *

A pleasant smell welcomed the two girls in the kitchen.

"Good morning, you two sleeping beauties"

Ian was standing at the stove, apparently making some bacon and eggs, judging from the delicious smell.

JJ's face lightened up like a Christmas tree.

"Good morning Ian"

"Morning" said Emily somewhat grumpily.

"Do you feel better, Emily? Here, I made you some tea"

"Thank you" mumbled the brunette, feeling a little guilty as the dark haired boy handed her a warm cup of tea.

"Where's Derek?" asked Jennifer.

"In the living room, tidying up"

Jennifer went a little pale around her nose. "How bad is it?"

"Don't worry, we already threw out the garbage yesterday, and Derek's vacuuming right now. Your parents will get their house back as good as new"

"Thank you for saving my life" replied JJ earnestly.

Emily felt sick.

"I… I think I will leave now" she stammered.

"Oh… I thought you would stay 'til my parents came home. I wanted them to see you after all these years" JJ said, looking disappointed.

"I…"

But before Emily could come up with a good excuse to leave, the shrill ringing of the telephone interrupted them.

"Good day, this is Jennifer Jareau speaking"

Emily wondered who it could be. Surely JJ's parents checking if everything was alright.

"Oh, I see… yes… yes I will tell her… goodbye, Henry"

Henry?

"Emily, Henry just called. He says that your aunt and your two cousins will arrive in less than two hours, and that you better get your ass down there right now. Well, he didn't say _exactly _that, but it sounded very urgent"

"Oh crap"

Emily had completely blocked out her aunt's visit from her mind, partly because yesterday's events, but mainly because she hated the guts of that woman. She was like her mother, only ten times worse. She didn't approve of her younger sister's lifestyle, and she was extremely envious that Elizabeth had inherited their mother's house. Every time she came to visit, she praised her own children and how they'd gotten into the best schools and universities, while at the same time criticizing Elizabeth's parenting skills and predicting a very dark future for Emily, who was forced to listen to her endless tirades all evening.

"You completely forgot, didn't you?"

"Yeah… shit, I don't wanna see her. Especially not now, all by myself" Emily whined. "She's horrible, and she hates me"

"I bet she doesn't. She's just… she worries too much"

"Ha!"

"Well, she might not be the most fun person to be around, but I'm sure she doesn't _hate_ you, Emily. I mean, who could hate you?"

Emily smiled at her thankfully.

"And you like your cousin, right?"

"Yeah, he's my favorite one. But still…"

An idea crossed JJ's mind.

"Do you want me to come along?" she asked.

Emily's eyes opened in surprise.

"You would do that? But... What about your parents, and your house?"

"Me and Derek will take care of everything" offered Ian.

"Perfect!" said Jennifer happily. "And I will leave a note for mom and dad, telling them I'm at your place. So, what do you say?"

_I say you're the most wonderful person on earth and I love you to pieces._

Of course, Emily didn't say that out loud.

* * *

**Thanks for the new reviews! :D I can't reply to the guest reviews, but I love them just as much.**

**-cloudedhearts**


	8. The Necklace

"Why did you offer to come with me?" asked Emily, as soon as they left Jennifer's house. It was a clear and sunny, yet very cold day, and the girls were dressed in their winter coats. JJ's was blue, it was the same one she had worn the day they had been at the café, and that complemented the color of her eyes so perfectly. Emily's was a soft shade of burgundy, with brown buttons up to the neck. She put her hands in her pockets, and pulled out a tiny package.

"You were so bummed out last night, I thought you shouldn't have to face your aunt alone. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right" Emily smiled. "Here, I forgot to give this to you last night" She dropped she mall object in JJ's hands.

"What is it?"

"Your birthday present"

Jennifer unwrapped it carefully.

"I know it belonged to your grandmother. I thought you should have it back…"

Jennifer looked at her, endless sadness clouding her beautiful eyes. She put the necklace back in the little box, and let it slip into the depths of her pocket.

"Thank you" she said in a raspy voice and leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on Emily's cheek. Emily took JJ's left hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"It's ok, just let it out" she said, as Jennifer's tears fell one by one on the fresh morning snow, leaving tiny craters on it. They stayed together in a tight embrace for a couple more minutes, until JJ was all cried out.

"Sorry, I don't know what happened. A couple of days ago you weren't here and now you are, and I thought you had lost this by now, and my grandmother is dead, and this is all so confusing…"

"Shhh, don't worry sweetie, I get it, believe me" said Emily, wiping away a last tear from Jennifer's cheek with her thumb.

"We should get going. I don't want your aunt mad at you because of me"

"Ugh. I'd rather stay in the cold for eight hours with you… but you're right" she sighed.

* * *

"Ready?" asked Emily nervously. She had begun to bite her nails again.

"Yes, let's do it" said JJ reassuringly, taking her hand.

Taking one deep breath, Emily rang the doorbell.

"Thank god!" Henry exclaimed as he opened the door. "Your aunt is already here, and she's not pleased. Oh, hi Jennifer! Come on you two, hurry!"

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter guys! I was busy updating chapter 7, I hope you like it! Many thanks to the favs, followers, and reviews! :) I'm sorry Derek has to suffer, I assure you Emily is NOT using him... at least not on purpose. She's just very hurt and confused...**


	9. Family Ties

The resemblance between Elizabeth and Roxanne was striking. Both had that dark silken hair Emily and her cousin Erick had inherited, piercing gray eyes and thin lips to match their already severe appearance. Roxanne was a little fuller compared to her thin sister, and she didn't spare make-up or jewelry either. Erick had some of Roxanne's facial features, but his dad's genes had softened them out, and luckily, he had also his grandmother's mouth and his father's gentle greenish eyes. His sister Laura on the other hand was the spitting image of her mother, except for her very long, very sleek and very light blonde hair, that went like a cascade over her shoulders and finished just above her bottom.

"Emily, how nice of you to join us dear" purred Roxanne in an insufferable high-pitched voice, another trait that set her apart from her sister.

"I'm sorry aunt Roxie, it has been crazy around here, I completely forgot you were coming" said Emily, just a tad irritated.

"We've always a good excuse ready, don't we?" snarled her aunt.

"Mother" interrupted a young man sitting to her left. "Leave Emily alone, she apologized already"

"Don't you defend this kind of behavior. This child needs to learn some manners"

"I'm sorry" said Emily, barely containing her anger.

"I expect you to be on time next time" said Roxanne sharply.

"Yes ma'am"

"Come here kiddo" exclaimed Erick, not paying much attention to his mother's hiss. Emily didn't need to be told twice. She practically jumped in her big cousin's open arms, hugging him tightly. Erick kissed his little cousin on her head, happy that he was able to see her after such a long time.

"You have to tell me everything!" Emily beamed at him. "You didn't give me many details in your last letter"

"I can't wait sweetie. But let go of me please, you're suffocating me"

Emily laughed. "Sorry. Hi, Laura" she said to the bored looking girl on her aunt's right.

"Hello Emily, how are you?" drawled Laura, not managing to hide the tone of annoyance in her voice completely. Suddenly Emily remembered the blonde who had accompanied her, and who was standing quietly behind her. She cleared her throat.

"Aunt Roxanne, Erick, Laura… this is my friend Jennifer"

"JJ" said Jennifer quickly. "I'm JJ, hello. Nice to meet you all"

"No way, little Jen?" exclaimed Erick, recognizing JJ at once. "It's so nice to see you again!" He grabbed JJ's hands and shook them enthusiastically.

"It is nice to see you too, Erick" chuckled Jennifer, smiling widely at him. She already liked Emily's cousin, though she only remembered him vaguely.

"Are you the little Jareau girl?" asked Roxanne casually. As JJ affirmed nodding her head, Emily's aunt frowned and pressed her lips tightly together. The only one who saw this was Emily, and she did not like it at all.

* * *

Thanks to Erick and JJ, dinner didn't turn out to be a complete disaster. JJ had instantly won Erick's heart. The young man was glad that his baby cousin had such a good friend around to keep her company and who she could share her secrets with. He entertained the girls with anecdotes of his freshman year in college and his many travel adventures around the world, even if Roxanne argued more than once that those topics were not suited for the ears of three young ladies, and that they would only put ideas in Emily's head. Jennifer smiled adoringly at him. He was so handsome, and so smart! And he had such interesting things to tell… JJ was hanging on his every word.

As the evening progressed, Erick was running out of stories to tell his young listeners, stories that weren't rated "M" for "mature", anyways. Sensing the opportunity to engross her niece in conversation, Roxanne started questioning her.

"So, Emily, how's school? Have you joined any clubs already?"

"Clubs?"

"Yes dear, clubs. Don't you have them in Europe? I'd recommend you to join the debate club. The chess club is not bad either, or the literature club… there are so many to choose from, and they always look good on your college application"

"College application? But I still have time for that" Emily did not like where this conversation was heading.

"You have to plan ahead dear. When will you learn that?" said her aunt, rolling her eyes.

"For god's sake mother, leave Emily alone" intervened Erick.

"You should try and talk some sense into her too" protested his mother sourly. "Apparently she listens to you. It is never too early to make plans for your future Emily. And if you want to get into a good university like Erick and Laura did, then you should've started to organize yourself yesterday. What major are you planning to choose?"

"I… I don't know. Literature? I really enjoy it"

"Journalism" stated her aunt, as though she hadn't heard Emily. "Journalism is a very hard business. If I were you I would become a lawyer, like your dad. Lawyers are always needed."

"Mother…"

"Erick, don't interrupt me, I'm talking to Emily here"

"I suppose it's a well-paid job" said Emily, too tired to argue or talk back.

"Oh honey, just get yourself a wealthy man, and you won't have to worry about money for one single day in your life!"

"I prefer to marry someone I love" said Emily, and Erick gave her a wink of encouragement.

"You silly thing, who said one thing excluded the other?"

"No one but –"

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?" asked Roxanne nosily.

This was a question Emily had been dreading the whole evening, and that made her feel very queasy. Since the breakup with her last boyfriend and everything that had occurred before and after that, she just needed to take a break from all that relationship and dating nonsense. Dating was probably the last thing on her mind right now, and she would've told her aunt so, but she knew that would only encourage her to talk about Laura's _marvelous _boyfriend and his money making parents, the wonderful university he was attending to, and his ruggedly handsomeness. That is why she muttered "Not yet", hoping that would be enough for her nerve-racking aunt. It wasn't.

"Come on, there must be some good looking boys at your school. And you don't look bad yourself, it should be easy for you to get a boy's attention"

"Oh, there are plenty of boys interested in Emily" JJ joined in, before Emily could silently signalize her to shut up.

"You must be a quite the heartbreaker, little cousin" teased Erick.

"Oh, she is" said JJ with pride in her voice.

"Well, do you know any of those boys?" asked Roxanne impatiently.

"No…"

"I bet you just don't want us to know who it is, right?" said Erick.

"I… a boy kissed me yesterday"

Emily hoped that this information would finally get her some peace and quiet, but she thought wrong.

"I beg your pardon?" said her aunt aghast.

"It's nothing" Emily added quickly. "He's just a friend of mine. We… I wanted to try something"

"Oh my dear child" said Roxanne in a mocking voice. "Since when do friends go and kiss each other?"

"Like I said, it's no big deal" whispered Emily, her hands clenching.

"What is the boy's name? Is he a good student? Is he handsome?"

Erick rolled his eyes at his mother's inquisitive questions. "I think we should respect Emily's privacy. She obviously doesn't want to tell us more than she already did"

"Nonsense, we are her family. So, Emily, when is this mysterious boy asking you out? Of course, he should've done that before kissing you, but oh well… youth these days, who understands them…"

"Erick's right, I don't wanna talk about it" said Emily firmly, remembering last night very clearly. JJ looked at her, worry in her eyes. Emily smiled weakly at her, signalizing her that she was alright, that she wouldn't burst into tears again.

"Well, how on earth am I supposed to maintain a decent conversation with you, if you don't put any effort in it at all?" complained Emily's aunt. "Tell me, how are your grades?"

"Just fine, thank you" replied Emily suppressing a yawn. She thought her aunt was through with that subject, she wasn't being very original at all.

"_Just fine? _Where's your ambition? You need outstanding grades and merits; you'll have to excel at everything you do in order to succeed. Do you want to end up working as a schoolteacher?"

"Actually, I want to be a schoolteacher" said JJ. Emily whispered a silent "Thank you" in her direction. "I think it's the second most fulfilling job on the planet, and I just love children and their natural thirst for knowledge. I think it's inspiring, don't you?"

For once, aunt Roxanne shut her mouth. Sadly, it didn't take long for her to find another topic she could pester her niece with. The only person who didn't utter a sound all evening was Erick's sister Laura. She was reading a book for one of her classes. The title sounded promising and under normal circumstances, Emily would've asked her what it was about, even if she and her cousin didn't get along very well. Aunt Roxanne however didn't give her a moment's rest. As usual, Erick was the one who saved her.

"Who wants to see a movie?" he threw in, no doubt wanting to save Emily from the fangs of his mother.

"Sorry darling, not this time. I'm still tired from the trip, I think I will just go to bed and rest"

"Me too" said Laura promptly and closed her book, as though she had waited all the time to hear those words from her mother.

"What about you girls?" Erick asked JJ and Emily, winking at them in complicity.

Emily and JJ looked at each other. "We would love to" said Emily.

* * *

The ride to the cinema was very fun. Erick had brought his own car, a red convertible with brand new leather seats. He turned the volume of his radio up, and the girls, who were sitting in the back, sang along to the songs until they were hoarse. Sometimes Erick would join in, his deep pleasant voice harmonized nicely with Emily's mezzo soprano and JJ's angelical tunes. Emily's bad mood from before had completely vanished.


	10. Midnight Talks

When they arrived at the movies, there was already a long queue at the box office, and while JJ and Emily joined it, Erick went to buy popcorn and soft drinks for the three of them. The queue advanced rapidly, and soon it was their turn. Erick handed the snacks to the girls and paid for all three tickets, wanting to spoil his baby cousin and her best friend. They were going to see "Back To The Future II", and Emily couldn't wait to sit in one of the warm and cozy seats with two of her favorite people. Her third favorite person, Henry, had stayed at home, and she still hadn't heard from Derek. Emily hoped he and Ian had managed to clean JJ's house in time, suddenly feeling a little bad for leaving the boys behind. On the other hand, she was relieved Derek wasn't here with them, she didn't know how to be around him after last night, and it would be better to let things cool down a bit before talking to him again. As if her thoughts had wandered out of her head and had reached him through the air, a boy's voice called her name.

"Emily! Hey, Emily!"

Emily turned around and stared at him, quite dumbfounded.

"Derek? What are you doing here?"

"Well, the same as you guys, I suppose"

Emily nodded.

"Hi JJ. We've finished cleaning up your house, and we left before your folks came back" Derek told JJ. She blushed slightly. "I haven't even said thank you yet, I'm sorry. You saved my ass"

Derek grinned at her. "Don't mention it, it was nice to be useful after…" his voice trailed off and he looked at Emily, who was standing there very quietly. JJ immediately stepped back, to give them both some privacy.

"Are you ok, Em? I can't tell you how sorry I am" Derek started.

"It wasn't your fault" objected the brunette without looking at the boy. She didn't want to have this conversation, not here, not now.

"Yes it was. I… I like you a lot, Em. I hope you know that. You are very special, and you deserve to be treated like a princess. What I did was so wrong on so many levels. Please forgive me"

"I have already" replied Emily, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes again. "I shouldn't have… I was the one who kissed you"

"I shouldn't have assumed you wanted to make out just because you kissed me" said Derek, his voice full of remorse.

"I should've stopped you earlier"

"Em, we have to go inside" Erick had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Erick! You startled me. This is my friend Derek Morgan. Derek, this is Erick"

The young men shook hands, looking firmly into each other's eyes. Emily noticed the handshake lasted just a little bit longer that it normally would have.

"Well, Derek, I don't want to be rude, but our movie starts in less than three minutes" said Erick, ready to leave. But Emily didn't want to go like this, she didn't want things to be weird between her and her best male friend.

"What are you watching?" she asked him. "Maybe we can sit together"

"I haven't decided yet. I might just go home, I'm kind of tired"

"That's a shame" said Erick. "Emily, we've got to hurry"

"Well… see you tomorrow at school?" it was more of a question than a goodbye.

"Right. Bye, Em. Bye Erick"

"Bye"

As they walked away, Erick put his arm around Emily's shoulders. Derek followed them with his eyes, his stomach aching in pain. Emily turned around and waved at him smiling, oblivious at the thought that had just crossed Derek's mind.

_That bastard…_

* * *

The movie was a blast, and provided them with enough topics of conversation for their ride home, something Emily was more than thankful for. Henry greeted them at the door.

"Jennifer, your parents called. I told them you were at the movie theater with Emily. They granted you permission to stay the night. Mr Maillet, your mother is sleeping in the guest room with young Miss Laura. I have prepared a bed for you in Mrs Maillet's old room. Emily and Jennifer, there's an inflatable mattress in Emily's room I took the liberty to inflate myself"

"Thank you Henry, you are an angel" said Emily and hugged her older friend.

"Well girls, I leave you two to chat, then" said Erick yawning. "It's been a long day. Good night, Henry. I've told you already to call me Erick, don't forget"

"Oh but… alright, Erick. Good night sir" Erick chuckled. He took JJ's hand and kissed it. "Mademoiselle Jareau" he said, mimicking the perfect gentleman. He did the same with Emily, causing the girls to giggle.

"Good night, good sire" said Emily and made a curtsy in his direction.

"We thank you very much for a very pleasant evening" added JJ solemnly. "We hope that you will delight us with your presence again tomorrow"

"I will, my lady. Goodnight, my lovelies"

"Goodnight Sir Erick, Sir Henry"

Giggling, Emily and JJ went up to Emily's room, whispering secrets into each other's ears that made them giggle even louder. Erick's amused gaze followed them until they disappeared behind the door of his cousin's bedroom. Those two were perfect for each other. He went into the kitchen to grab a cold beer, and afterwards joined Henry in the living room. Henry was already waiting for him. They had some important matters to discuss.

* * *

**Emily's bedroom**

"I'm not tired yet" said JJ, contemplating herself in the mirror. "Hey, now it's your turn to lend me some clothes" she said happily.

"Help yourself" replied the brunette, imploring silently JJ wouldn't take off her clothes in front of her again. "My clothes are boring, though. In Europe I had to wear school uniforms, and in my free time I had to accompany mom to her dinner parties and events. I haven't got a lot of cool stuff in there like you"

"Are you kidding me?" These dresses are beautiful. Absolutely stunning" gasped Jennifer. She took an emerald green dress with thin straps and net lace from Emily's closet, and held it up against her petite figure.

"Try it on" Emily encouraged her. "I bet it will look great on you"

JJ did what Emily had told her, and this time the brunette looked away as her friend undressed, pretending to search for something in the drawer of her desk.

"Could you zip it up, please?"

Emily looked up, her eyes widening in awe.

"Wow, you look stunning" she said, speaking the absolute truth.

"Thanks" said JJ joyfully, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Emily got up from her chair and stood behind Jennifer. She suddenly felt the urge to hug JJ from behind, and to trace her fingers along the bare skin of her shoulders. She gasped as she felt the blonde's warm skin against her cool hands, and hurriedly zipped up the dress. JJ thanked her and looked at the mirror again.

"I love it"

"Keep it" said Emily, not being able to look away for even one second.

"Wow. Really?"

"Yeah, it looks better on you anyway"

"Oh Em, thank you" cried JJ, and hugged her so tightly she almost lost balance.

"What's this?" she asked curiously, heading to Emily's bed.

"You kept a picture of us all these years?" she said bewildered, giving Emily a funny look.

The brunette nodded, feeling guilty, even if there was no reason for it. What was wrong with keeping a picture of your best friend on the nightstand?

* * *

The two girls stayed up until past midnight, talking and messing around. They were making up for lost time and had so much to tell each other. As the night swallowed the day and everything outside went quiet, a ray of moonlight entered the windows, and the girl's conversation turned towards more serious matters. They were lying on Emily's bed, about twenty centimeters apart from one another, blue eyes looking into brown ones.

"I got expelled from my last school" whispered Emily.

"Really? What for?"

"Bad conduct" said Emily a little curtly. "Anyways, I'm tired. Let's just go to bed"

"I'm tired too" said JJ, confused as why the brunette had shut her out so abruptly.

"You can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the mattress"

"Em, we can both sleep in your bed, it's big enough"

"I'm a blanket snatcher"

"I don't mind. Please, Em. I don't want to be alone. Please?" said JJ with pleading eyes.

* * *

Emily woke up maybe one and a half hour later, hearing feeble sobs. She rolled over and saw JJ laying almost at the edge of the bed, her shoulders rising and falling, as she tried to muffle the sounds of her sadness with a pillow. Emily lay there without uttering a sound. How quickly the tide had turned. Yesterday, Jennifer had appeared so strong and well balanced, like nothing could unsettle her. Now, she needed to be comforted herself. Emily moved closer to her, until she was almost skin to skin with the crying blonde. Supporting her head with her left arm, she timidly started to caress her friend's cheek, until the sounds coming from the blonde were mere hiccups. Emily's heart was beating fast; she could hear and feel the blood pounding against her temple. She didn't remove her hand, moving it on to JJ's hair, her shoulder, her arm, and finally leaving it on Jennifer's waist. Emily listened to JJ's breathing, it was steady, and she heard the familiar, barely audible snoring sounds too. Jen had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Emily closed the last millimeters between her and JJ, and embraced her from behind, leaving her left hand on JJ's hair and the right on the girl's stomach. JJ moved in her sleep, unconsciously adapting herself to Emily's body frame. Emily rested her head on the pit of Jennifer's neck, nuzzling her nose into her skin. Jennifer's scent reached her nostrils as she breathed in; a smell of peaches, fresh ocean water, and Jennifer's very own, pure and sensuous perfume that emanated from every pore of her soft skin. It felt so pleasant and familiar, so natural and safe, that Emily's eyes fell close too, and she joined JJ in a night of peaceful sleep.


	11. The First Kiss

It was hard for Emily to concentrate the next day. So much had happened during her weekend, her mind and above all her heart hadn't had enough time to process it all. She wondered why JJ had been crying last night, they hadn't really had a chance to talk before classes, and Jen had been awfully quiet during breakfast. Her aunt Roxanne and Laura had driven off early in the morning, much to Emily's relieve. Erick had announced that he intended to stay a couple more days, having to take care of some "important business", and Emily couldn't be more thrilled to have him around a little longer. She looked to her right where Derek was sitting, but he was staring stubbornly at Ms Henley as she introduced a new topic to the class. Emily only listened with half an ear and gave up on trying to get Derek's attention. Either he was unusually interested in what Ms Henley was saying, or he didn't want to talk to her. She scribbled incoherent words in her notebook and prayed that the school day would be over soon, so she could spent some more time with Erick, and maybe JJ too. The bell rang and everyone but Emily went into recess. Derek had been the first one to storm out, before she even had a chance to talk to him. Great. With him mad at her, she had no one to talk to during recess. Maybe she could ask Ms Henley if she could stay in the classroom reading or working on her history paper.

"Excuse me, Ms Henley. I was wondering..."

Ms Henley stopped grading her student's papers and looked at Emily through her horn-rimmed glasses.

"Yes, dear?"

Emily felt very uneasy looking at her teacher's knowing eyes, and decided it was better to leave. "I just wanted to... never mind, I'm sorry I bothered you" she said, and picked up her backpack.

"Emily, wait. Actually, I wanted to talk to you too" Emily stopped, a thin frown on her forehead. She had always been on time and she never failed to do her assignments. What could Ms Henley want to talk to her about?

"Yes?" she asked nervously, chewing on her bottom lip.

"As you might now, I'm in charge of the Drama Club, and I wanted to invite you to come and see us rehearsing sometime. My instincts tell me you would enjoy it"

"Oh... I don't know" said Emily sheepishly. "I've never done such a thing before"

"That's ok, there's no pressure. I would be honored if you came and simply watched us play. You're one of the best students I ever had"

"Well... thank you, Ms Henley" said Emily taken aback by the honesty in her words. "I will think about it"

"Great. We meet every Friday from 6 to 8 pm. You can show up whenever you like, it would be a great pleasure to see you there"

Emily smiled at her teacher, and noticed for the first time how pretty she was behind those old fashioned glasses and her not so youthful dress style that seemed better fitted for a woman fifteen years older. Her light brown hair fell onto her shoulders in soft waves and her facial features were very feminine; she had full lips and her green eyes with brown sprinkles were full of wisdom. Emily realized all of the sudden that she liked Ms Henley very much.

"I will be there" she promised, earning a radiant smile from Ms Henley.

* * *

Finally, the end of her last period arrived. Emily had already packed her bag to be ready, so Derek wouldn't be able to avoid her again.

"Derek, wait! Derek!" she called after him. Man, he was fast. But he had stopped in the hallway and was now facing her, not looking too friendly.

"What do you want?" His bitter tone was like a slap in the face for Emily.

"Derek please, don't be like that" she begged him. "I just want things to be normal again"

Derek laughed. It was an ugly, cheerless laughter that seemed to mock her.

"Normal? Look Emily, I have to get home okay?" he said harshly.

"Why are you so mad at me?" she asked, feeling as if someone had just emptied a bucket of icy water above her head.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this whole situation. First you start to cry your eyes out while we..., and nobody tells me what I did wrong. Then I run into you at the movies, but again, I get no explanation whatsoever..."

"Our movie was about to start..."

"Well, I bet that guy must be very special, you didn't look so sad yesterday when you were with him"

"What guy? What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, the six feet two inches tall guy I saw you with yesterday"

"Is that what this is about? You being jealous of Erick?"

"Jealous? I just don't get why you would go out with a guy like that. He's got some nerves! How old is he, twenty-three, twenty-four? Damn it Emily, he looks like he could be twenty-seven. He is way too old for you!"

"Calm down, people are staring at us!"

Indeed, a small crowd of students had formed around them, staring at them curiously.

"I won't calm down! That guy's no good, he will hurt you sooner or later"

"And you won't..."

"Well, no! Not intentionally! But guys his age..."

"Not that it's any of your business, but Erick is my cousin!" said Emily, her anger dangerously starting to boil near the surface.

"Wait, your what?"

"He is my cousin, and he's twenty-four. And I assure you, he has no intentions of getting into my pants!" whispered Emily furiously, and dragged Derek away from the gazers.

"Oh... your cousin? I'm sorry, Em. I didn't..."

"Well, now you know. And stop acting like I belong to you, I can go out with whoever I please! Its none of your damn business!" she shouted.

"Em, I'm sorry. It's just that... we didn't really talk after Jennifer's birthday...I feel horrible for what I did, and the fact that you won't talk about it just makes it worse. Please talk to me Emily. Please tell me how to make it all better..."

Emily could sense how desperate her friend was, and a part of her wanted to spill it all out, but she knew she couldn't do that, not just yet.

"I told you already, its nothing you did" she told Derek, sounding utterly defeated.

"Then what is it?"

"I -I can't tell you. I really can't"

"You can't or you won't?"

"Derek please, let it go" she said tearfully.

"Em I need to know, this whole thing is driving me crazy" he said imploringly, but Emily was already sobbing, and Derek wanted to curse at himself. He had made her cry twice in three days, how great! He felt the urge to smack himself for being so stupid. Emily looked small and frail and had wrapped her arms around herself tightly as if trying to protect herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby, I shouldn't have pushed you" he apologized sorrowfully.

"Please leave me alone" she susurrated faintly and hid her face behind her hands.

"Em, you're a mess. I'm not going anywhere"

Emily sobbed against his shoulder. She couldn't wait to get home and talk to Erick. He was the only person that could understand her right now.

* * *

**Friday, 6pm**

"Hi Emily, welcome. We were just starting" said Ms Henley when Emily arrived.

"Hi" said Emily a little reserved. She looked around. She didn't know anyone here besides Ms Henley. She sat down in one of the front seats of the hall and watched as the play evolved on stage. Oddly enough, it was a play Emily didn't know, in spite the vast amount of time she spent reading. When a boy and a girl who seemed to be the main protagonists kissed each other, she was taken five years back in time, into the living room of her old house.

* * *

**Five years ago, Emily's living room**

"Emily, this feels weird. Are you sure we're doing it right?" said the blonde girl when their lips separated and both girls gasped for breath.

"I'm pretty sure, I saw it on TV. And I did it once, with Paul"

Emily and Jennifer were sitting on a black leather couch with their legs intertwined, and their mouths so close they could feel each others breath against their skin.

"And what do we do now?" asked Jennifer, not sure if she wanted to continue this "game".

"Well we have to open our mouths. That's how it's done. Do you want to try it?"

"Okay..."

Their lips met again, and when they parted, their tongues touched for the passing of a moment. Emily thought it felt wonderful, but most of all it also felt a little weird, and moistly, and warm. Her sight had become blurry, and she felt a very nice and fuzzy feeling in her stomach. She had never kissed someone like that before, and she was enjoying every bit of it. But she couldn't admit that to her best friend.

"This feels weird, let's stop" said Jen and separated her lips from Emily's. "I bet we're not doing it right"

"Have you kissed someone before?" asked Emily.

"No"

"Well, maybe that's why it feels weird. Besides, you have to do it with a boy"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Do you think it feels good? You know, with a boy?"

"I guess. Why else would anyone do it if it wasn't good?"

"I don't know, maybe because they think they have to?"

"Nobody has to do it, Jennifer, people kiss because they're in love"

"We're not in love, and we kissed"

"We were just practicing for our 'real kiss' with a boy. That's completely different"

"If you say so..."

* * *

The rehearsal was over and though Emily had missed the last scene due to her daydreaming, she had liked it very much. She waited until the students had left, and went over to Mrs Henley to congratulate her.

"Ms Henley, that was awesome!"

"Well thank you Emily. You really think so?"

"Yes, the scenery was beautiful, and the acting was great. It must have cost you a lot of effort to put it all together like that"

"It's nice someone finally appreciates my work" joked Ms Henley. "Anyways, we will perform this play in two weeks, and I already have an idea for a new one. You are welcome to join us anytime, there's a list outside my office for students who want to try out for a role"

"You mean I would have to act?"

Ms Henley laughed cheerfully. "Well of course dear, unless I happen to chose a silent play. But I very much doubt that will be the case"

"Well... I guess trying doesn't hurt... What play is it?"

"Oh I'm not a hundred percent sure yet, I will think about it over the weekend"

"Alright. See you, Ms Henley"

"Bye, Emily. I'm really glad you came"

* * *

**Jennifer's house, two days after her birthday **

JJ was lying on her bed waiting for darkness and tiredness to overcome her. Her parents were back from their short trip, and they had brought some presents along with them, but she hadn't been able to feel any joy, neither for her parents return, nor the presents. She hadn't even felt glad her mother had baked her favorite cake, a chocolate cake with orange slices on top. It was as delicious as always, but for some reason she could only eat a single piece.

"What's wrong, darling?" her mother had asked her, while her father silently looked at her with his bright blue eyes.

"Nothing mom, I'm just tired"

"Well honey, better go to sleep then" said her dad, kissing her affectionately on her forehead.

"Good night, pumpkin"

"Good night, daddy. Good night mom"

"Sleep well, my little one"

* * *

JJ couldn't sleep. Her mind was working like a machine that lacked a stop button and rattled along without any direction or purpose. She thought about a lot of things, but mostly she thought about Emily. What would happen now that her best childhood friend was back? She already felt the same intimacy around her they had shared when they were kids, even though Emily had only been back in her life for a couple of days. Of course, she had other girlfriends, but with them it wasn't the same. If they were to move miles away, they would most certainly forget her soon. JJ closed her eyes. Her hands found their way under the blanket and into the pants of her pajamas. She traced her fingertips over the fabric of her cotton panties, gradually applying more and more pressure, until a well known dampness soaked through the fabric, smearing on her fingers. Her sweaty fingers wandered under her panties, creating a vibrant sensation that crept from her core into her whole body as she rubbed against her lips and her button. Images came floating through her mind, images from Ian and other boys she had liked when she was younger, the piano teacher she had had a crush on, the little boy that kissed her in kindergarten... and then she saw Emily. Emily talking to her, smiling at her, hugging her... both sleeping together like sisters... she opened her eyes, convinced that she would see Emily laying beside her, and quickly shut them again when she didn't. She could see her before her inner eye, laying at her side and watching her as she drove herself to climax. Jennifer let out a small cry of ecstasy as her muscles clenched around her fingers.


	12. Paris

**I'm so sorry for taking so long! I've been busy studying, my finals are in less than 3 weeks :( Anyways, here's the new chapter, I hope you like it! Thanks for the reviews and alerts :)**

**-cloudedhearts**

* * *

Days and weeks passed quickly, and soon the final exams approached, which kept all students busy studying, some more than others. For the first time in her life, Emily was thankful her parents had hired private teachers to home-school her. It was a burden growing up, because she had to put up with both her regular schoolwork and the tasks her strict home school teachers gave her, but she surely had learned a lot from them, and now she could relax while her classmates buried themselves in their books. Emily did that too, but she read for pleasure, and she would meet with JJ as often as possible, now that both of their time schedules were less tight. She had not talked to Derek again about 'that thing', and they were back to normal, almost. A tiny uneasiness was still present when they were alone together, and so Emily made sure whenever they went out, JJ would join them too.

Today was the last day of school, and Ms Henley had already announced that she would publish the cast of the play, which was still a mystery to all of them. Emily approached her teacher's office to see which role she had gotten. She didn't know who else signed up for the play, for they had called them in separately for auditions. According to Ms Henley, it was better this way. Emily looked at the words that were typed in capital letters above the name list, very surprised. They were French, _Les Misérables, _'the miserable ones', if she was correct. She looked at the list. There were only a few female roles, and she had gotten one of them! She felt a jolt of euphoria going through her body when she found JJ's name there too. Finally, they would be able to see each other during school! However, Emily's happiness faded away when she read the name below JJ's. Ian Lewis. Crap! With her luck, he would surely play JJ's love interest or something like that. This should be fun, she thought grumpily. Not only had she endured Ian's presence often enough when she was with JJ, now she would have to witness them holding hands (and who knew what else) at drama club too, a place that she had hoped could belong only to her. And JJ.

Ms Henley had said that she expected every one of them to pick up a copy of the script, which would contain the dialogue and a summary of the events and the background to the story. They were supposed to read it during the holidays. Emily would go to France, where her mother was currently stationed. Not because she was dying from nostalgia, but because the Ambassador expected her to, and she had already bought a ticket for Emily. Since it would be Christmas soon, her father would show up along with his new wife and Emily's two older half siblings from his first marriage, and Emily knew Elizabeth Prentiss only wanted her to be around so she wouldn't have to face all four of them on her own. Emily would've preferred to stay, but well, she had to fly to France, and that was it. Two weeks without seeing Jennifer...

* * *

The flight was long and boring, and luckily, Emily spent most of the time sleeping. She gathered her luggage and looked out for her mom, who had promised to pick her up. Emily wouldn't be surprised if she'd forgotten, or simply sent someone else. In the worst case, she would have to take a cab.

"Surprise!" someone yelled behind her.

"Erick!" cried Emily and jumped into his arms. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Aren't you glad to see me?" he asked, acting offended.

"Of course, stupid!" she laughed. "Why are you in Paris? And don't say you only came to pick me up, because I won't believe you"

"I had a couple of days off and I decided to visit my favorite cousin, is that so hard to believe?"

"No" Emily chuckled. "Did you come alone?" she asked, suddenly sounding worried.

"Don't worry, mom and Laura stayed at home" he answered, laughing at Emily's face of relieve. "Shall we go now? Your folks must be expecting us already"

Erick linked arms with her, and they walked out of the airport together.

* * *

Emily had settled down, but she still wasn't thrilled about spending the holidays in Ambassador Prentiss' house, even with Erick there keeping her company. She had not forgotten the missing letters, and she wanted to confront Elizabeth with the evidence she had been lying to her all this time. Anger welled up inside her as she recalled how her mother had greeted her: she had asked to see her report card, and as always, not even the best was good enough for her. She had reprimanded Emily for two A- she had gotten. Emily was already used to it, but it still hurt. She didn't want to admit it, but her heart longed for some motherly affection, a hug, a kiss, or even a tender word. Most of all, she wanted her mother to be proud of her, and say so. But it seemed that it was more likely that she would win ten million dollars at the lottery before her mom would do that. She sighed deeply and decided it was time to have that talk with her. She had been thinking about it since the plane ride to Paris, and she had made a decision. Emily went to her mother's office, took another deep breath, and knocked three times.

"Mother? Do you have a minute?"

Elizabeth stopped typing and looked distractedly at her daughter staying in the doorway of her home office.

"Yes, Emily?"

"I just… it's been a while since we talked to each other"

"Yes… I've been busy… forgive me… where's this damn folder?"

Emily spotted a blue folder on the floor. "You dropped it, mom. It's on the floor"

"Oh. Thank you, Emily" she said and picked it up. "I'm sorry, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well I… I've been thinking… I want to graduate early and go to college"

For the first time since she'd entered the room, Elizabeth Prentiss looked up from her papers and looked directly at her sixteen year old daughter.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes mother, I want to go to college" repeated Emily, her voice slightly trembling. "I'm not learning much at school, and there's a good college just a few miles away from home. I could drive there myself"

The older woman gave her a scrutinizing look without saying anything. Emily was so nervous she wanted to storm out, but she forced herself to hold her mother's intense gaze.

"Have you talked to your father about this?"

"No" admitted Emily sheepishly.

"Do you think he would agree to something like this?"

"I don't know. Why does it even matter? Since when do we ask for his permission?" said Emily, her voice filled with indignation.

"He's your father, and as you well know we have joint custody of you. Like it or not, he does have a say in this"

"You can't force me to stay in school, I'm talking to the teachers and the principal to see if it's possible for me to graduate with this years' seniors. I don't want to waste my time, and neither of you can stop me" she spat.

Her mother remained remarkably calm.

"If you don't wish to include us in your decision, then why did you come to talk to me? You are too young to go to college, do I have to remind you what happened the last time you spent time with college students?"

"No, I haven't forgotten" said Emily, tears now sprinkling in her eyes.

"Then you should understand why my answer is no. I think it would be best to not ask your father either, you know he doesn't react well to that particular incident"

"Incident? Is that how we are calling it now? Mother, what happened wasn't my fault" said Emily, now sobbing hard.

"Emily, please, I have to get this files done by tomorrow"

Emily didn't move. She felt as if something was tearing her chest apart and ripping her heart out. Elizabeth got up from her seat and handed her a handkerchief, gently pushing her towards the door. Emily turned around and hugged her tightly, yearning for the much needed consolation from her. Her mother's arms were hanging limply at her sides while Emily sobbed uncontrollably against her chest. The Ambassador was getting impatient, and after Emily's sobs had become quieter, she freed herself from her daughter's embrace. Emily didn't want to let go, hugging her even tighter.

"Emily, stop it, you're way too old for this kind of behavior" she said irritated.

The teenage girl looked at her mother though watery eyes, the pain in her chest was back again.

"But…"

"Emily, I have to work" she sighed, brushing Emily's tears away with her fingers.

Emily nodded and sniffled one last time before turning around and leaving. She went to her room, threw herself on the bed and cried like she never had before.

* * *

**One week later, somewhere in Paris**

"Just tell me where we are going", grumbled Emily. She was not a big fan of surprises.

"Shht, wait and see, little cuz" said Erick, acting very mysteriously.

"Ok, but you are paying for drinks" she told him.

"Nice try, but no. You can have a coke, but we grownups won't share our drinks with you"

"Oh shut up, I'm almost seventeen, I can have a drink… or two"

"How about none" said Erick, ruffling through her hair and squeezing her to his chest.

"You don't have to drink in order to have fun, you know"

"Yeah but I don't like being left out" Emily moaned.

"God, you're a little pest. Fine, one beer! But nothing else, I don't want aunt Liz to roast me alive"

"Thanks, you're the best!" she said cheery and planted a quick kiss on her cousin's cheek.

"You're impossible" he laughed, wiping her saliva away with his hand.

"Here we are, meet the coolest gay bar in town"

Emily stopped and looked at him like if he'd just told her they were going to visit Santa's elves and his talking reindeer.

"G-gay bar?" she stuttered. "Why on earth should we go into a gay bar?"

"Well…" Erick started, suddenly looking very serious. "I waited a long time to tell you this, and honestly I didn't want to be this straightforward, but… well I'm gay"

"What?" exclaimed Emily, standing there quite thunderstruck.

"I like boys… men" explained Erick.

"I know what it means, it's just… I always thought you had girlfriends… a girlfriend"

Erick gave her a sad smile. "I'm afraid that's what I made my parents believe. See, I wasn't comfortable with this whole thing myself, so I kept it a secret. Even from you. I'm sorry"

"I'm glad you're telling me now" said Emily encouragingly, having found her normal tone of voice again. "It's totally cool"

"Really?"

"Really really" assured Emily with a smile. "Let's go inside already, my ass is freezing"

She took her older cousin's hand and pulled him inside the bar.

* * *

**A couple of days later, Elizabeth Prentiss' living room in Paris**

Erick and Emily were sitting in the living room watching the news.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, my friend Emma was quite smitten by you and she asked for your number. Do you want me to give it to her?" asked Erick casually. One look at his little cousins' face, and he knew he would need to approach this in a different, more delicate manner.

"Relax; she's not going to assault you. I told her you're sixteen and off-limits. She just wants to sit down and talk, maybe grab a coffee or something"

"What? No! Why would I want to talk to her? I don't even know her" Emily was feeling somewhat nauseous, she didn't want to be alone with a girl who was obviously attracted to her, but at the same time, she felt something very strong twirling inside her that urged her to accept the invitation.

"Like I said, she just wants to get to know you. She wants to help" said Erick in what he hoped would be a soothing tone of voice. He was wise enough to keep quiet what Emma had really told him.

"_Why didn't you tell me your little cousin was that cute? You have to give me her number, I'm taking her out!"_

"Help me with what? I'm fine, I don't need any help" cried Emily, her voice rising.

"Em, you don't have to go out with her. Just say the word and I will tell her you already have other plans"

"It's just… why me? I'm not… why did she assume I was…? I like boys" muttered Emily, more to herself than to Erick, as tough she wanted to convince herself by speaking it out loud.

"Sweetie she didn't assume anything, she simply took a guess. After all we were all together sitting in a gay bar"

"Well there's no way in hell I'm going out with her! Just make something up, don't give her my number"

"I won't" said Erick softly and kissed her on the head. "Don't worry"

Bits of his conversation with Emma passed through his mind. Maybe it was better if Emily didn't go out with her…

_"Erick, you're a prick, I hope you know that. A little heads up would've been nice, you know how much self-control it took to not stare at her the whole night? She's totally hot!"_

_"Hey, you're talking about my cousin here! My baby cousin. I told you she's just sixteen, and she's frightened. She doesn't know she likes girls yet"_

_"All the more reason to show her"_

_"Emma!"_

_"Ok, ok, sorry, I'm shutting my pie hole right now. But it's a shame, you know. I could've taught her things… many things…"_

Yes, definitely better.

* * *

Emily was lying in her bed, her eyes wide awake. Tomorrow, she would fly back to her home, to Henry, JJ and Derek. She couldn't get the conversation with Erick out of her head, and that was bothering her. She had never really had doubts about her sexuality or her sexual orientation, she had had her first boyfriend at thirteen, and many had followed. Had she been in love with them? She didn't know, but she knew she had loved each one of them. She thought about Emma and Erick. If Erick didn't think she could be gay too, why did he even pass Emma's request on? Why didn't he just tell her his cousin was straight and that she would be wasting her time? And what about Emma, didn't homosexuals recognize each other? Emily was getting a stomachache; she just couldn't be like that, she didn't want to. She closed her eyes firmly and tried to think of something else, but Emma's face kept showing up. Her stupid brain repeated everything she had said and done in an endless playback: Emma's funny jokes, her cute French accent, the way she had kissed Emily goodbye on the cheek while resting her hands on Emily's waist… She opened her eyes and growled angrily. Yes, she had found Erick's friend smart and attractive and funny, but that didn't mean anything, right?


	13. The Crime

The small town was not fully awake yet. The pink sky was still harboring last night's secrets, and the first shop owners were opening their shops, and despite of the coldness of the night, some birds were already singing. The wind swept lonely over the deserted pavements, encountering only dirt on his way. The owner of the little kiosk near the cinema was slurping his morning coffee, while he was reading today's headlines in a freshly printed paper. He leafed through it, and stopped at a headline that shocked him severely. 'Seventeen year old girl found murdered'. It had happened in this very town.

JJ yawned. It was 9 am and she had to sit through the most boring subject ever invented by mankind. Or rather, she had to listen to the most boring teacher alive, Mr Drakes. He would have probably won the contest of 'Slowest Speaker', if there had been one. A sentence took forever to get out of his mouth, and his tone was so monotone and drowsy that all his students always fell into a sort of lethargy after he started talking. But oh well, she couldn't complain, she had a free period afterwards, and she was going to see Emily. The brunette had gotten back from France on Saturday, and she and JJ had spent all Saturday evening and most of Sunday morning at Emily's house, watching movies and having endless talks. However, there was something Emily had kept to herself; she hadn't mentioned Erick or Emma.

Jennifer had spent her holidays at home with her parents, nobody had really wanted to go away. Jennifer's grandparents had visited for Christmas, all four of them, and her aunts and uncles with their children too. JJ enjoyed the company of her family, but she hated being the youngest cousin, everyone was constantly fussing over her and giving unasked advice, and during this time of the year what she wanted most of all was to be left alone. Her parents had given her the best Christmas present of all: it didn't come in a fancy box or a beautiful packaging, but it breathed, and it moved, and it was very much alive. Jennifer had squealed when she saw it, a tiny furball with even tinier paws and ears, and blue eyes like herself. She named the kitten 'Luna' and bought her a bed which she put in her room near the radiator. Luna had grown over the holidays, and JJ couldn't wait for Emily to see her.

Both girls had read 'Les Misérables' over the holidays, Jennifer was missing just the last two pages, and overall she had liked the play. What she didn't know until reading it was that it was a musical; her singing abilities were not bad, she sometimes sang in the church choir, but she had never sung alone in front of 800 students and teachers. Her and Emily had agreed to practice their dialogues after school. JJ had wanted to invite Ian too, but she sensed that her best friend was not too fond of him, and so she decided to meet with him another day. Finally! That was the bell ringing. Jennifer jumped from her seat, along with the other twenty-something students in her class, causing Mr Drakes to startle and interrupt his monologue. "What? This late already? Well, have a good day and see you tomorrow..."

"Bye, Mr Drakes!" chanted JJ on her way out. She felt like nothing could ruin her day, but little did she know a raging storm was awaiting her.

* * *

"I'm sorry, we have instructions to keep all students inside today until their parents come to pick them up" said the watchman at the school entrance. He didn't care Jennifer only wanted to go to the building right next to her own campus, where Emily and the other juniors and seniors were; his answer was still no. JJ thought it was rather strange. Usually the older students were allowed to move between campuses, with a special pass they had to hand over when they left and when they came back in. Damn, she had been so eager to see Emily since the morning, and now she would have to wait until the afternoon. She went back to the cafeteria and sat down with a chocolate covered doughnut and a hot coffee, hoping she could read the last pages of 'Les Misérables'. The cafeteria was fuller than usual, and the chatter was much louder too, and soon she gave up on the script and turned her attention to the students around her. Some of them were eating, or doing their homework, but most of them seemed deep in conversation, and there was less laughter and joking around than usual. The atmosphere seemed somehow tense, but JJ couldn't explain why. She decided to join some of her classmates to learn what was going on, if something was going on.

"Hey JJ", a redheaded girl greeted her.

"Hi Liza"

"Sit with us JJ" offered a blonde boy at Liza's left.

"Thanks Thomas" said JJ, and sat down to Liza's right.

"So, did you hear already?" asked Liza, sounding agitated.

"No, what's the matter? Why aren't we allowed to go out? Did something happen?"

"Here, see for yourself" said Thomas, and handed her a pretty crumpled piece of paper. JJ opened it, and she didn't have to search long to find the headline everyone seemed to know about except her. 'Seventeen year old girl...' she began reading quietly, and suddenly she spluttered her still undigested doughnut and her coffee all over the table. This could not be happening! At the adjacent building, another girl was reacting in a quite similar way to this news.

* * *

"Shit!" exclaimed Emily, suddenly wanting to throw up right on Derek's shoes.

"That bastard" said Derek, clenching his fists. "I hope they find him soon"

Emily staggered, and Derek managed to hold her arm before she could fall down.

"Em are you alright?" he asked worriedly. His friend had become deadly pale, and her hand which he was holding was icy cold. Derek took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, while simultaneously rubbing her fingers with his hands. Slowly, a little bit of color came flooding back to Emily's cheeks.

"I... that could've been any girl..." whispered Emily, looking terrified.

"Em I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, I promise you that. I'll pick you up every morning if I have to"

Emily rambled on as though she hadn't heard him, her eyes very distant. "It could've been JJ... the girl was blonde like her..."

"Shh, JJ's fine, Emily. I saw her this morning"

"I have to go and find her, I have to talk to her..." said Emily and tried to get up, but her legs failed her. Derek didn't expect her to be so shaken up about this; sure, it was terrible, a horrendous crime that had happened under their very noses, but still – Emily hadn't even known the girl, and things like this happened on an every day basis all around the world. Which didn't make them less awful, of course.


	14. Getting Closer

"She's super cute!" exclaimed Emily, and picked Luna up. The kitten protested, wanting to stay in the warmth of her bed. "She's so cute I wanna eat her alive. Yes I do, yes I do" Emily said while petting the little one until she purred happily.

"Didn't I tell you? Oh my god I love her so much" said JJ, taking Luna out of Emily's hands and putting her on her lap. Both girls looked at her as she first stretched and then curled up, still purring like a little machine.

Emily looked through the window, it was already pitch-black dark outside.

"JJ?" she said, her voice a little higher than usual.

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid to go home alone" confessed the brunette.

"Who said you were going anywhere? You're staying here with Luna and me"

"Am I now?" chuckled Emily.

"Yes, you are. Definitely"

"Fine, but only because of Luna"

"Like if she even cares, she's asleep" said Jennifer, looking lovingly at her little foster child.

* * *

**Same place, a couple of days later**

"What happened to your face?" asked JJ.

"Oh, it's nothing, I sometimes bite my lip too hard and then it bleeds"

"Here, let me wipe it off" said JJ, and gently did so with the sleeve of her sweater. Emily held her breath, JJ was standing so close to her...

"My parents don't want me to come here again until they find that man" JJ told Emily, leaning in closer to get the last drops of almost dried blood.

"Henry doesn't want me to get out by myself either" Emily informed her friend. "He is always driving me now, it's kind of annoying, I feel like a child"

"At least you get to go out" sighed Jennifer. "My mom doesn't want me to leave the house at all, and if it were up to my dad, he wouldn't let me to go to school either"

"Henry could drive you" Emily offered. "I bet he would be more than happy"

"Maybe it won't be necessary, maybe they caught him already" said the blonde hopefully. She had finished cleaning up Emily's face, and looked intensely into her friend's eyes, before retreating two steps backwards.

"You should probably wash your face, I couldn't get all of it off" she said, and stared at Emily's lips, that were now a dark shade of red. Emily hadn't noticed JJ's intense gaze. If she had, she probably wouldn't have licked her lips in order to erase the last traces of blood. It happened very quickly. Jennifer closed the distance between them once again, and kissed her on the lips. It was a short, chaste kiss that was over too quickly, JJ's lips had barely touched hers. Afterwards Emily thought that maybe they hadn't, that she only had felt the air caressing her wounded flesh; but then why was her heart pounding so fast, and why did her insides feel like they had just been incinerated?

Her lips burned where JJ's mouth had met them, and she put her fingers on them to cool them. What the hell had just happened? She looked over at Jen, thinking that she never had seen someone looking so terrified.

"Emily I'm so sorry" whispered the blonde teenager, looking away. "I don't know why I did that"

Emily gulped. "Maybe you're a vampire, and you wanted to taste my blood to check if it was nourishing" she joked, hoping to make JJ feel better, and instantly succeeding at it. The younger teen's face brightened up, and she gave Emily a hesitant smile. Emily smiled back at her, trying to tell her friend that everything was alright, that she wasn't upset at all. In reality, she was as much shaken as JJ, or maybe even more.

* * *

Neither of them mentioned the kiss again, both acting as though it had never happened. Nine days had passed since the seventeen year old girl had been found murdered, and there was still no suspect. All male citizens seemed to have rock solid alibis, and a female offender had been ruled out after the lab results came back. JJ didn't know what to do anymore, she felt trapped in her own house, and whenever Henry allowed Emily to stay with her, there was always at least one adult present to watch over them. JJ's parents were more than thrilled that their daughter's friendship with Emily had persisted through time, she looked happy when she was with other kids her age, but they had never seen her as happy as now, she was simply glowing. JJ's mom and dad were becoming Emily's surrogate parents, and Emily loved them dearly. They were all what her own parents weren't: warm and caring, and they showered their daughter with love and affection.

Another week passed, and it soon became evident that the police was totally in the dark, all suspects had turned out to be innocent, and all the witnesses' testimonies had led to absolutely nothing. Jennifer's parents had loosened their surveillance a little bit, realizing they would not be able to shield their daughter from all evil. Principal Jones had set up special self-defense courses for girls, and every student was strongly advised not to be out on the streets alone after dark. Derek kept his promise, dogging Emily's and JJ's every step, which was bad enough, but what made it even worse was that he did it together with Ian. Emily knew she should be thankful for them caring so much, but it did feel like she and JJ couldn't be alone anymore, and it had been days since they'd had a sleepover.


	15. Almost A Date

Emily looked at her alarm clock. It was half past midnight. She got up and quickly threw some clothes on, before getting into her coat and putting her hat and shoes on. She had been confined to her home most of the time during the past weeks, and she was desperately longing for some freedom. She missed wandering around the city on her own to simply watch the people passing by, or reading a book in the park surrounded by the whispering trees. JJ had promised her she would sneak out too, and they would meet halfway. Of course Emily was terrified, but prohibitions had always had a strong effect on her, and she seemed attracted to danger like the moth to the flame. She had taken a hammer out of the toolbox and the acidly spray Berta used to clean the bathroom; just in case. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest as she carefully opened her window and climbed out. She pulled her hat down her forehead as soon as she was on the streets, mounted her bike and started pedaling. She didn't notice the black car that followed her.

JJ enjoyed the feeling of the cold wind blowing against her face as she rode her bike through the lonely streets. The ride shouldn't take more than five to eight minutes. She closed her eyes and let the breeze caress her face, feeling ecstatic. Unlike Emily, she wasn't feeling any fear, having successfully repressed it. As long as she was bicycling, she felt completely free. She spotted a bright light in a short distance that was approaching rapidly, and seconds later she could make out Emily's dark hair and her red coat. She hit the brakes and waved at her. They unmounted and hugged quickly before locking their bikes. Jennifer took Emily's hand and they walked along the illuminated streets together, feeling totally safe in each other's presence. A small voice in Emily's head told her they were doing something very foolish, but she quickly silenced it and squeezed JJ's hand tightly. The blonde smiled at her. Emily felt a pleasant warmth spreading through her stomach and her whole body, and she didn't want it to ever go away.

* * *

"What are we doing at the movies?" asked Jennifer.

"There's a back entrance, I've been there before. And there's some stairs that lead to the roof. Just wait and see, it's worth it" said Emily. She wanted to show Jennifer the best panoramic view of the city.

"Ok but I'll say you tricked me into doing this if we get arrested", said JJ jokingly.

They went to the back of the building and slipped through the door, closing it gently. Emily led JJ through the fairly lit corridor, and to a door that looked like an emergency exit. She pushed it open and went through, with JJ following her closely.

"There are the stairs" she said "Let's go up"

JJ gasped when they arrived at the rooftop. Emily hadn't made false promises, the view was indeed breathtaking. You could see the whole town, which at this time of the night looked like a reflection of the starred sky, with all the streetlights and the lights coming out of some of the windows. JJ thought that the air smelled very pleasant, very clean. Her nose picked up a sweet scent, realizing at once it came from Emily. She turned and smiled at her.

"Thank you for doing this, Emily. I honestly never saw the city like this, it's beautiful"

"I found out by accident" she said to JJ, reciprocating the smile. "I'm glad they don't lock the door, I bet a lot of couples come here on romantic dates"

Becoming aware of what she had just implied, she shut up, but JJ was already blushing. Luckily for her, the darkness hid it. There was an awkward moment of silence, and then a small gust of wind made them shiver and bury themselves deeper into their coats.

"Will you hold me?" asked JJ out of the blue, looking shyly into Emily's eyes.

"Hold you?" stammered the older girl in confusion.

"Yes please, I'm cold. Please hold me" said JJ, and there was something in her voice that made Emily want to grant her this wish, and all the wishes that were to come. She went over to the younger girl and timidly wrapped her arms around her from behind, holding her in a loose embrace. JJ snuggled against her, which encouraged Emily to clasp her hands around JJ's stomach.

"Thank you" whispered the blonde, and rested her head against Emily's chest. They stood like that for a while, without uttering a word, just silently gazing at the city lights and the stars. When the wind became too chilly, they finally broke their embrace. They left the same way they had gotten there, never letting go of each other's hand. They walked back to their bikes and were about to unlock them, when a dark car appeared out of nowhere and came to a halt next to them. Emily's heart began to race, her hands were sweaty and she was having trouble unlocking her bike. The car's window was slowly put down, revealing a blonde woman with dark glasses.

"Excuse me, do you know where Warrington Street is?" she asked, and smiled at them. JJ looked relieved, but the woman's voice had given Emily the chills.

"No, sorry ma'am" she answered, finally opening the lock.

"Let's go" she said to JJ, and the blonde teen nodded.

"Do you girls need a ride?" asked the stranger.

"No, we're good, thanks" mumbled Emily. "We live nearby"

"Really? But I see no houses around here. Are you sure?"

"Yes" answered Emily firmly, trying to ban the nervousness from her voice. "Come on JJ, let's go"

The girls got on their bikes and cycled away as fast as they could, only stopping at JJ's house, which was nearer than Emily's.

"Gosh, that women was weird" said JJ, her voice shaking a bit. "Do you really think she was lost?"

"I don't know" said Emily, evading the question. She didn't want to scare Jennifer. "Maybe she was, but it was better that we didn't get into her car"

"Yeah, definitely"

They put both bikes in the garage, and tiptoed to the front door. JJ fumbled in her purse searching for the keys, but the lights outside the house weren't lit and she couldn't get a hold of them. Emily hurried to assist her, but before either of them could put the keys in the keyhole, the door opened and JJ's dad appeared, looking furious.

"Go inside, both of you!" he said through clenched teeth. They did as they were told, and JJ's dad locked the door behind them.

"I demand an explanation" he said, his face still distorted with rage.

"Daddy, we were just..."

"It's my fault, Mr Jareau. I'm sorry. I wanted to sneak out and I convinced JJ to go with me" said Emily.

"Is this true, Jen?"

JJ looked at her friend and then at her dad, not knowing what to say.

"I wanted to go" she finally said, not wanting Emily to take all the blame.

"Why on earth would you sneak out in the middle of the night? Do you know how damn dangerous that is?" shouted Mr Jareau. "That maniac is still out there! Didn't you think of that?"

The girls didn't reply, too ashamed of themselves.

"I did expect more from you, from both of you" he continued. "You're smart girls, and you should know better. Jennifer, go to your room. Emily, you can stay in the guest room, it is too late for you to go home now. We will talk about this tomorrow"

The teens didn't dare to say another word. Emily exchanged a quick glance with JJ and then went to her room, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

* * *

**Ok, I know that what they did was really stupid and not really consistent with the way they reacted to the murder, but teens do stupid things :D (no offense) I did so myself... Anyways, please read and review! ;)**


	16. Jackie

JJ woke up bathed in cold sweat. She had woken up before the man could catch her. She got up and put a sweater on, and decided to check on Emily. Luna's little paws twitched in her sleep when the floor creaked under her steps, but otherwise the house was silent. She sneaked out of her room, her skilled fingers opening the door in a way it didn't squeak. Avoiding the step that always made sounds, she went downstairs, orienting herself only with the help of her hands. She knocked at Emily's door, not waiting for the brunette to answer before getting in. The room was even darker than the rest of the house, with the roller shutters down. JJ felt her way to the bed and after her eyes had adjusted to the absence of light, she saw Emily's dark shape. She stretched her arm out and touched what she thought would be her friend's shoulder, accidentally touching her somewhere else. Emily woke up with a start and clasped JJ's wrists so tightly the blonde let out a cry of pain.

"What are you doing here?" growled Emily.

"Emily. it's me" said JJ, frightened at the brunette's reaction.

"JJ, I'm sorry" said Emily and released the blondes wrists. "I thought you were someone else"

"Who did you think I was?" asked JJ confused. "There's nobody else in the house that would come to your room in the middle of the night"

"I had a nightmare" explained Emily. "A guy wanted to kill me"

"I dreamed something similar" said JJ, frowning. She lit the beside lamp and got into the bed, covering herself with half of Emily's blanket. JJ could feel Emily's warm breath as they lay there with their foreheads touching.

"JJ?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you cry the other night, you know, when my aunt and cousins were visiting?"

"Why are you asking this now?"

"Because you never told me"

"You never asked"

"I... I thought that you would tell me when you were ready"

Emily had unconsciously started to play with JJ's hair.

"You can tell me" she whispered softly. "I'm good at keeping secrets"

The younger girl hesitated, and Emily could see the silent battle that was going on inside her by looking into her friend's dazzling blue eyes.

"It's because of my sister" said Jennifer.

"What about her?"

"Jackie she... she killed herself"

Whatever Emily had expected her friend to say, it wasn't something as shocking as this.

"I'm so sorry Jen, I never knew"

"I usually don't talk about it" said JJ, her eyes darkening. "It happened four years ago"

"Oh my god, JJ, I'm sorry" Emily didn't know what else to say. She continued to caress the younger girl, waiting for her to speak. JJ took a deep breath, and started to tell Emily the whole story.

"Jackie was very ill" she stated. "Very ill and very sad. None of us saw it coming. My mom thought she'd broken up with her boyfriend. Dad thought something... bad happened to her and that she wouldn't tell us... She was miserable all the time, but I didn't understand why. Eventually she got a little better, but her recovery didn't last long. She got worse, she couldn't sleep, she didn't eat properly, she couldn't concentrate anymore, and her mind was always racing, making her think horrible things, making her wish she was dead... the worst thing was that she couldn't even cry anymore. I tried to cheer her up as best as I could, but it didn't help. Then I got angry... I thought she was doing it on purpose, that she didn't want to be around me anymore. I was selfish, I wanted her back. I was mean to her, but she didn't even fight back. She did nothing. It went on like that for weeks and weeks, and then my parents couldn't take it anymore. They took Jackie to a doctor, a psychiatrist. He barely spoke to her and prescribed her antidepressants. Then she got better, after a couple of weeks she was laughing again, and she noticed me again. We were all relieved and happy but... it didn't last this time either. After four months, it started all over again, and it was worse than before. The doctors said it would be best to hospitalize her, but mom wouldn't hear it... she feared they would sedate her and drug her up..."

Jennifer swallowed hard, it was becoming harder and harder for her to go on with each word.

"Then, one day I came home from school and... and... and she just lay there, on her bed. I thought she was sleeping at first, but then I touched her. She was icy cold. She was so cold and she didn't respond when I shouted. I shouted and shouted, and I kept shaking her body, but nothing happened. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards. I woke up in the hospital, my parents were there and some doctors, and they told me I had to be very very brave, and then dad said that Jackie was in heaven with great-grandpa, and that she was watching us from there"

"Oh JJ..." said Emily, tears streaming down her face. JJ seemed distant, as though somebody else was talking through her. She continued.

"I didn't even cry, I didn't really understand a word they were saying, and it took me weeks to finally accept she wouldn't come back, not now, not ever. Mom and dad tried their best, but they couldn't cope with their own sadness and look after a mourning child, so my granny took me in for a while, and after a couple of weeks, mom came to live with us too. Dad stayed here because of his job... it was never the same after she died. God, I miss her so much..."

Her voice trailed off, and she began sobbing quietly. Emily got into a sitting position and hugged JJ. It was as if a dam had breached, the tears kept flooding out of JJ's eyes. Emily was sitting on the bed with her legs spread and JJ was curled up against her, sobbing inconsolably. Emily's sleep shirt was already soaked but she didn't care, all she wanted was for JJ to feel a little better, her heart was literally hurting seeing the blonde like this. She rocked Jennifer back and forth like a baby, whispering soothing words and entwining her legs around the blonde's fragile body.

"It was brave of you to tell me all this, baby" she said tenderly, and brushed a strand of hair out of Jennifer's face.

"I often wished I was dead and she alive" confessed JJ between hiccups. "She was the good one, she should have lived"

Emily wrapped her arms tighter around JJ, pressing the blonde's head to her chest like a mother would.

"Don't say that. Never ever feel guilty for being alive. Jackie didn't want to live anymore, sometimes that sort of thing happens, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing you could have done to stop it. She loved you very much, you know"

She pressed a couple of kisses on JJ's head.

"If she loved me she wouldn't have left me" cried JJ, digging her fingers into Emily's flesh. Emily winced, the blondes fingernails hurt, but she didn't say anything.

"Sometimes people get so sad they think their loved ones are better off without them" she said quietly. "I can tell she loved you deeply, as much as someone could love their sister, and even more. She will always be with you, no matter what. You must not forget that"

JJ straightened up and wiped her face and nose with the palm of her hand.

"Thanks Em" she said sincerely, her blue eyes searching for Emily's.

"I didn't do anything"

"Yes, you did. You listened. Thank you"

She crawled into Emily's lap and sighed, exhausted. It didn't take long before she fell asleep. Emily carefully placed her on the bed and covered her up. Then she got up and went to the kitchen. She needed a drink, there was too much going through her head right now.

* * *

It was Saturday morning. When Emily woke up, JJ was gone. She went to the kitchen in her pajamas and saw JJ standing by the stove, making pancakes.

"Hi Em" said JJ.

"Hey, it smells delicious"

"Thanks, I thought that it would help to pacify my dad, so he won't shout at us too much"

"I'm a total klutz in the kitchen" admitted Emily. "I can't even get scrambled eggs right, they always burn"

Jennifer chuckled. "I bet you have tons of other talents"

"Really, like what?"

"Uhm I don't know. You are good at acting, I didn't know that before we both joined the drama club"

"I very much enjoy it" said Emily. "But I wish Fantine didn't die that early in the play"

Aware of her unfortunate choice of words, Emily covered her mouth with her hands.

"JJ, I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me" she apologized to her friend. "Are you alright?"

"Emily, it's fine. Really. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me, I'm a big girl. I was just feeling vulnerable last night, and when that happens, usually... that happens"

"Thank you for telling me" said Emily, and placed her hand gently on JJ's shoulder.

"You're my best friend, I'd tell you anything" said Jennifer, her voice full of emotion.

Their eyes locked, and for one second, there was nothing else in the world but them. Once the moment was over, Emily let go of Jennifer's shoulder. The blonde stared at the spot her friend's hand had been, as though awaking from a trance.

"You were saying?" she croaked.

"W-what? Oh... I was saying it's a shame that Fantine... doesn't get to be on stage that long. A-and Éponine is such a tragic character, but I like her..."

"Right, I forgot you got two roles... lucky you"

"Yeah, only because that other girl backed out. Besides, both of them... leave. Your character gets the man of her dreams"

"That's what bothers me about Cosette. Love is all she cares about, all she lives for"

"Don't you think that her yearning for true love is just as legitimate as the other's fight for justice?"

"I guess so. But I find her kind of boring, actually"

"I like her, she's no different than any other girl in love. Well, maybe she is. Not all girls are that passionate" said Emily. "You portray her very well"

JJ blushed and turned her attention back to the pancakes in the frying pan. "Could you please set the table?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Sure, where do you keep the plates?" asked Emily.

"Top right cupboard on the left side" said JJ. "Thanks, Em"

Shorty after everything was ready, the girls heard heavy footsteps approaching the kitchen.

"Good morning girls" said JJ's dad grumpily.

"Good morning, Mr Jareau" said Emily nervously.

"Hi dad" JJ went over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't think that you being nice to your old man will spare you, young lady" he grumbled. "Emily, I have talked to Henry already, he's relieved that you are fine, but don't expect to get away with it, he sounded very angry"

Emily gulped. Henry was the personified calmness, and if he was angry it meant she was in serious trouble.

"Are you telling mom?" asked JJ quietly.

"No, I think it's better not to upset her"

"Thanks dad"

"I'm not doing it for you. And just so you know, you're grounded for a week. No TV, no phone, and no going out except to school. And if it ever happens again, I'm beating the living daylights out of you. Now, give me another kiss"

JJ obliged and Emily stared confused from one to another. Was that it? Usually when she fought with her mother, there was a lot of shouting and slamming doors, and swearing even. She had to admit it was mainly because she enjoyed to provoke the older woman, she never got such strong reactions from her when she was behaving like a 'good girl'.


	17. And He Strikes Again

The three of them enjoyed their breakfast while they waited for JJ's mom to join them. Jerome Jareau had eaten all the pancakes, claiming that if he didn't, they would get cold and don't taste as good. Jennifer had made more, keeping them in the oven to keep them warm until her mother woke up.

"Jeannie, would you please bring me newspaper?"

"Jeannie?" JJ chuckled. "You haven't used that name for me since I was in elementary school"

"You used to love to watch 'I dream of Jeannie' when you were little" explained her dad. "Remember how you made us watch reruns every day at 7 pm?"

"Of course I do!" JJ laughed. "I even begged mom to make me a Jeannie costume and I wanted to wear it everyday for a month... I didn't only because you bribed me with chocolate and ice cream"

"You were a persuasive little tyrant" said her dad adoringly. "You wrapped us around your little finger, all three of us, even your sister..."

JJ's gaze dropped to the ground, she didn't want to be reminded again of the huge void Jackie had left in their lives... Jerome noticed this and went quiet, Jackie's death had affected his youngest child the most, and he knew for a fact that she still wasn't 'OK', that she still was trying to cope...

"Honey, the newspaper, please?" he asked again, giving his little girl a look full of love.

"Of course dad" mumbled Jennifer. As soon as she was out of the kitchen, Jerome's attention turned towards the dark-haired girl sitting right next to him.

"So Emily, how are things going between you and Jeannie?" he asked his daughter's friend.

"Wha- what do you mean?" asked Emily bashfully, spilling a little coffee onto her shirt. "Oh shit. I'm sorry Mr Jareau" she said, apologizing for her language.

"It's not a big deal, dear" said the older man, casting Emily a meaningful look.

"I was simply curious, because you are spending so much time together. Jeannie was crushed when you left, and I thought she would never recover. It's nice you two made amends"

He looked carefully at the young girl, studying her reaction at his words. "You are very close, right?"

"Y- yes we are" said Emily nervously. "But you have to know we never had a fight or something like that. We just didn't get each others letters, that's why we lost touch... and I love spending time with her, she's really my only friend here... well, my only female friend..."

Jerome nodded. "The letters, eh? Yes, Jeannie told me about it... I'm sure your mother meant well... Well, you can't change the past now, can you?"

"No sir" said Emily affirmatively.

"Anyways, you're a good gal, Emily. I'm happy that you two found each other" he winked at her, and Emily blushed.

"Yes, JJ is a very dear friend to me. She's like a sister. I don't know what I would do without her"

Mr Jareau smiled. "That's so nice to hear. Oh, speak of the devil"

JJ had returned to the kitchen, with the newspaper in her hand. She flinched at her father's last words. "I'm not a devil dad" she protested.

"It's just a figure of speech" said Jerome. "You know you're my angel" he added tenderly, and JJ smiled at him with such sweetness it broke Emily's heart.

"Here's the newspaper daddy"

"Thanks sweetie"

Jerome opened it, and he chocked on his morning coffee.

"Sweet mother of Jesus!" he exclaimed rather loudly.

"What is it dad?" asked JJ, frightened.

"Nothing, you don't need to see this, honey"

"It's about the murder, isn't it?" whispered Jennifer. "We will find out anyway" she added anxiously.

Jerome folded the paper in two so the two girls would not be able to read the headline that had just freaked him out so much. He looked at the two girls and sighed deeply, wishing he could spare them the news he was about to tell them.

"I suppose you will" he agreed, his voice sounding defeated and tired. "Another girl's been found murdered"

"No!" cried JJ, covering her mouth with her hands. She looked at Emily, who had gone very pale; both were thinking the same thing. Sneaking out while a murderer was on the loose was the stupidest thing they had done in a long time. They had deliberately exposed themselves to danger, all for gazing at some stars from a rooftop in the middle of the night. They could've easily been the murderer's next victims. JJ's dad guessed what was going through their minds, and his face turned very serious.

"Swear you are never, ever going to pull something like last night again" he said urgently, emphasizing the words 'never' and 'ever'.

"I swear" said JJ at once, her cornflower blue eyes still wide open in shock.

"Emily?" Jerome asked the brunette girl.

"Y-yes. I mean no... it was stupid and it won't happen again" she stammered out.

"Good" said JJ's father, and his worried face smoothed a little. "Oh and darling, better don't mention this to your mother, you know how it gets to her"

"I won't" promised the blonde. Jerome Jareau pulled her into a hug.

"I simply don't understand!" Emily burst out. "I don't get it, why would someone do such a horrible thing? Those girls didn't harm anybody, and he killed them just like that... WHY?"

The two Jareau's were taken aback by the fierceness in her words. Emily looked expectantly at Mr Jareau, and he knew she desperately needed an answer.

"I don't think there's a valid explanation, honey" he said sadly. "It's something sane people like us could never comprehend, and frankly I don't even think it's possible for anybody to fully understand what drives these kind of individuals. There might be a motive, or something in this man's past that led him to be the monster he is now, but his actions don't have any justification or explanation. I think it's not healthy for either of you to dwell upon this subject. There's a lot of evil in this world, but there's also a lot of kindness and compassion, and love. And you'll be the luckiest girls in the world once you've found the latter. In the meantime, I'm asking, no, I'm strictly **forbidding** you to go out on your own, or without asking for permission. You too, Emily. I know I'm not your dad, but since neither he or your mother are around, I'm telling both of you girls now. Don't be scared, but always be cautious. Don't trust people you don't know. Someone may seem nice, but it takes more life experience than you have and the ability to judge a person's character to be able too see who means well and who's hiding his true intentions. Well, I've said enough, and since I cannot lock you up I hope you won't simply brush off what I just said and think I'm being a paranoid old man. I was young once too, I know how young people feel about following rules, and it's ok to break them from time to time, but not in this case, you simply can't. You have to promise me to stay away from danger"

"Dad, we know" said JJ reassuringly, patting her dad's arm. We were just so tired of staying at home all the time that we didn't really consider the consequences our actions might have. We're sorry"

"I know, pumpkin, but I have to be insistent when it comes to your safety" said Jerome, kissing both girls on the forehead.

"I know dad. I love you. And we promise you we will be safe, right Em?"

"Yes" nodded the brunette.

"Good, I trust you on that" he said, turning to his plate. "Are there some pancakes left, sweetie?" he asked his daughter.

"Dad, you're stuffing yourself! Save some for mom" said JJ, rolling her eyes.

"Your mother's on a diet, I'm merely doing her a favor"

"Sure dad" she chuckled. "There you go, my best one. You will see it's shaped like a cat, if you squint your eyes like this"

Her dad narrowed his eyes to slits and looked closely at JJ's creation.

"No, sorry dear, I don't see the cat" he said, almost disappointed.

"You didn't squint. Besides, you have to use your imagination"

"From where I am sitting it looks more like a cow" teased Emily, finding it very amusing that JJ and her dad would discuss pancake shapes.

"Next time I'm not making you any" pouted JJ.

"It looks like a nice cow" said Emily quickly, covering her mouth to hide a laugh. "And I don't really care how my pancakes look like, as long as you make them"

Mr Jareau looked warmly at her, his affection for the dark-haired, brown eyed girl had just grown again.

* * *

**Well hello again :P**

**Since I love 'I Dream of Jeannie" I decided to use her name in this fic :D. I also changed Rosaline's name to Jackie because I wanted their names to star with a 'J'. Please review and let me know if I'm doing ok ;)**


	18. Intermezzo

**Here's another short one ;)**

**-cloudedhearts**

* * *

Henry had gone easy on Emily, knowing Mr Jareau had already talked to the girls, and how distressed Emily was because of the two murdered girls. She was grounded for a week, just like Jennifer, and the punishment did extend to sleepovers and after school visits too. The adults had agreed to grant them each fifteen minutes on the telephone each day, and one hour of TV time. Emily could've used the remaining time to finish the books she had started to read, or to continue one of her paintings (she was currently doing portraits, but she didn't have the guts to ask the one person she really wanted to portray if she would sit for her), but whenever she tried to accomplish something, her mind wandered off and she lost focus, not being able to compartmentalize at all. She had received a post card from Erick, he wrote that Emma often asked about her and that she would love for her to come to Paris again sometime. Emily had felt sick to her stomach at this revelation, still being in denial about the feelings her cousin's lesbian friend had stirred in her, and dismissing them as foolish, a mere indication of the admiration she felt towards the beautiful older girl. She hated to admit it, but she also felt flattered that a girl - a woman - would notice her, guys did not exactly line up to ask her out on dates, and when someone did, she usually managed to scare him off before they could get to know each other. In spite of her being socially awkward from time to time, Emily had a vast dating history for someone her age, but no real long term relationship worth mentioning, except for the last one, which had ended in a disaster and had left her heartbroken and shattered. She didn't want to feel like that ever again, and so she did what she was accustomed to do whenever a feeling too strong, too marvelous or too scary hit her – shutting down.

Much to her dismay, that strategy that had served her so well over the years didn't seem to work lately. Her old demons, the ones she had thrown in a deep pit years ago, had awoken; but she would not let them take over, not this time. She looked over at the picture next to her bed that showed two young girls free of worries and full of dreams, and she really hoped they still existed, despite the emotional scars their now older selves bore.

The week passed awfully slow, and the only thing both JJ and Emily looked forward to was their fifteen minutes on the telephone, and the rehearsal of 'Les Misérables' on Friday. Derek really made an effort to connect with her, but she was always distracted, and he had already realized that the more he pushed her, the more she would shut him out. So he mustered as much patience as he could, and waited for her to open up to him.

JJ had it a little easier, she had much more extracurricular activities than Emily to attend to, and between her cheerleader and soccer practice,the drama and the debate club, and the occasional writing she did for the school's newspaper, not to mention her homework, she had little to no time to think or worry. Her ghosts hunted her at night, when everything was so quiet she could almost hear the blood rushing through her veins. She had not spoken to someone outside her family about Jackie since it had happened four years ago, and nobody knew she was the one who found her sister's lifeless body. She didn't need sensation-seeking people asking her about details of her sister's death, or teacher's suggesting she maybe needed psychological treatment. They had asked enough questions already the year JJ had lived at her grandmother's. Most of all she didn't want them to know that she had been undergoing psychotherapy for three years now; she was not a freak, even if she still cried herself to sleep almost every night.

Although Emily was more open with her than she was with poor Derek, JJ still felt her friend was hiding something from her. As someone who was familiar with grief and pain, JJ perceived that Emily had not simply freaked out at the prospect of having sex with Derek at her birthday, it had to be more than that, even if the brunette denied it. Furthermore, Emily was always hinting that something had happened in Rome, something she didn't want to talk about. Whatever it was, JJ would be there for her if she ever needed to give vent to her feelings.


	19. I Dreamed A Dream

**Yupp! Another chapter, also very short. My apologies for that ;) **

**Song doesn't belong to me, obviously.**

* * *

Friday came, and with it, the eager anticipation to finally talk to each other, and not just over the phone. At 17:58, Emily ran to the room where rehearsals took place, almost tripping over her shoelaces and falling flat on the floor. She stumbled towards the door and opened it, breathless.

"I'm sorry Ms Henley" she panted. The young woman and about sixteen boys and girls of different ages looked at her, interrupting their dialogues. JJ gave her a reassuring smile, which the brunette wanted to return, but her facial muscles moved into an expression of disgust when she saw who was holding the blonde's hand.

"It's ok Emily, we were just starting" said Ms Henley, gesturing her in.

Two boys playing the roles of Jean Valjean and Javert began to say their lines, or rather, to sing them. Ms Henley accompanied them on the piano, stopping from time to time to correct the lyrics or to tell them they were singing slightly off-key. After they had repeated one song about five times, Ms Henley clapped her hands. "Alright, that's enough for today boys. Emily, you're up"

"Me?" she uttered huskily, looking self-consciously at the room full of students. It was the first time she would sing 'I Dreamed a Dream', and she didn't want to mess it up because of her nervousness.

She stood next to the piano and took a deep breath. As soon as the music started, she was transported to another place, completely forgetting where she was standing. She closed her eyes and the words simply flowed out of her, crystal-clear and sincere.

_There was a time when men were kind  
When their voices were soft  
And their words inviting  
There was a time when love was blind  
And the world was a song  
And the song was exciting  
There was a time  
Then it all went wrong_

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high  
And life worth living  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving  
Then I was young and unafraid  
And dreams were made and used and wasted  
There was no ransom to be paid  
No song unsung, no wine untasted_

_But the tigers come at night  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they tear your hope apart  
As they turn your dream to shame_

_He slept a summer by my side  
He filled my days with endless wonder  
He took my childhood in his stride  
But he was gone when autumn came_

_And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed_

"Emily? Emily!", she heard Ms Henley's voice calling from a distant place. She opened her eyes and found seventeen pairs of eyes staring at her, some in disbelief, others in shock. Was her singing really that bad? She looked at her teacher and found nothing but worry in her green eyes, which confused her even more. What had happened?

"Emily, are you alright sweetie?" asked her teacher softly, getting up from her seat and putting her hands on Emily's arms while looking into the young girl's misty eyes. The latter slowly shook her head, and her hands went to her face, where her fingers traced the now dry lines unwittingly spilled tears had left on her skin.


	20. Ian

JJ and Ian were standing outside the room, waiting for Emily to come out. Ms Henley had stopped the rehearsal half an hour earlier, sending everyone home except Emily. The seventeen year old boy looked at the door somewhat impatiently.

"When is she coming out? I have to go to my basketball practice"

"Ian please, didn't you see her in there? She practically collapsed into Ms Henley's arms after she asked her if she was ok. I get that it's an emotional song, but I just know it's something else. I've known Emily since we were little and she was always the strong one, that just wasn't like her"

"She's in good hands, JJ, maybe we should just go. I don't think she would want us to pester her about it"

"I can't" said the blonde girl quietly. "She's my best friend, and I'm not just leaving her after she cried her eyes out"

"But Emily never talks about the things that are bothering her, you told me yourself. Really JJ, I'm going to be late..."

"Maybe she doesn't, but I can still be there for her. Go ahead, I will meet you later, ok?"

"JJ..."

"I'm sorry Ian, but Emily needs me" she said with determination. "I'm not letting her down just to cheer for you and your buddies"

As soon as the word had left her mouth, JJ knew she had messed up. Ian had been all but nice and patient with her throughout all this time, and all she did was hurting him.

"Ian, I didn't mean..." she said apologetically and tried to meet his gaze, but the boy looked away.

"I think you meant exactly what you said" he said, and his tone frightened her. There was no anger or sadness in his voice, he was merely stating a fact.

"You should figure out what you really want, JJ. I really like you a lot, but I'm tired of being your second choice"

"Ian don't..." she begged, but he was already leaving.

"See you later JJ. Or not. It's your choice. Tell Emily I'm sorry she's so upset"

"Ian, I'm so sorry!" she called after him, and he turned around and smiled sadly at her. In that moment, the door opened, and Emily appeared, causing JJ to forget Ian immediately.

"Em! Are you alright?" she exclaimed and rushed at her friend. Emily's face lightened up instantly, and she submitted to JJ's caresses, not really in the mood for physical contact, but don't wanting to openly reject them either.

"What did you and Ms Henley talk about?" asked JJ, finally letting go of her.

"Nothing, she just wanted to invite me to her house for extra practice"

Jennifer gave her a questioning look.

"That was all?"

"Yes"

JJ sighed. Sometimes, it was not easy talking to Emily.

* * *

JJ had walked Emily to the parking lot, where Henry was already waiting to pick her up. Now, she was as the basketball court, watching the game while the other girls did their routine. She had previously excused herself for not joining her squad, she simply was too distracted and not feeling cheerful at all. Ian had not seen her yet, but she really hoped she could catch him later to straighten things out between them. Even if she was not ready to be his girlfriend, she didn't want him to become simply another boy she had kissed and made out with a couple of times only to tell him later it "wasn't going to work out". She knew she hadn't been honest with him, and he did not deserve that. His team had just scored again, and JJ clapped along with the other spectators. There were only two minutes left, and the opposing team was not likely to score enough points to win. The coach blew the final whistle, the game was over. JJ went to the locker rooms and waited.

"Ian!"

"JJ!" he exclaimed, quite surprised. "You came" he said, and smiled at her.

"Yeah, I figured we have to talk... And since I'm still grounded for two more days, it has to be now"

Ian dried his sweaty face with his shirt and put his sports bag on the floor.

"Do you really want to do this now?" he asked, his face turning serious.

"Yes, please. I feel that I haven't been fair to you. I owe you an explanation"

"You don't owe me anything, JJ. I like you and I want us to be together, but if that's not what you want, I will back off, I swear"

"I- I need more time, Ian"

"You have been telling me that since the day we started going out. I just can't do this anymore"

"What are you saying?" asked JJ tearfully.

"I'm saying that we should break up whatever we had... whatever this was" he said, his eyes welling up too.

"No, please Ian. Just let me make things right. I can change" she pleaded.

"I don't want you to change because you're afraid of loosing me. I don't want you to change at all. I just need to know if you like me enough to be with me"

"L-like you? Of course I like you!" said JJ, angrily wiping her tears away.

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?" he repeated, holding her gaze.

"I..."

"Do you?" he insisted, as fresh tears streamed down his face.

"I don't know! I don't know ok?" JJ sobbed, and before she knew it, she found herself in Ian's arms, sharing one last kiss with him.

* * *

**Please help me out! I don't know how to continue this story... Now that Ian's out of the way, they could get together... the problem is, I feel they are not quite there yet. Also, I thought Emily might develop a slight crush on Ms Henley, which would help her accept she likes girls/women. What do you think? ;)**


	21. Ms Henley

Emily was standing in front of a wooden door with beautiful carvings that belonged to an equally ravishing house. She had certainly not pictured her teacher living in such a mansion. Sure, the house offered a spectacular sight, but it also looked kind of pretentious, and it didn't match Ms Henley's humble personality. Emily looked over her shoulder at Henry waiting in the car, it was unlikely he would've driven her to the wrong address by accident, since he knew this town like the palm of his hand. She was more than thankful for him relaxing the rules and letting her out this Saturday, with her punishment still binding her to her home for two more days.

She gathered up all her courage and took the metal ring of the gargoyle shaped door knocker in her hand, wondering why Ms Henley didn't have a doorbell like normal people did. The heavy door opened slowly, and Emily relaxed promptly when the young teacher stood before her, smiling warmly and offering her her hand.

"Emily, I'm so glad you could make it" she said, while shaking the girl's hand. "Please come in"

Emily did and waved Goodbye to Henry, who winked at her and then drove off.

"Wow Ms Henley, you really have a beautiful home" she said, admiring the gorgeous paintings and the tastefully picked furniture in the spacious living room.

"Thank you dear, but it's not really mine. It's my mother's house, I'm only living here temporarily"

"Well your mother has very good taste then" said Emily, tracing her fingers along the soft wooden surface of a small table standing right next to her.

"Well, thank you, I will pass the compliment on to her" assured Ms Henley. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Just some water, thank you" said Emily, not being able to take her eyes off a painting that showed two lover's by a lake; the water seemed to actually be in motion, and the woman bore a striking resemblance to Ms Henley.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" said Ms Henley in a dreamy voice. "I wished I could paint like that"

"Do you paint?" asked Emily, realizing she knew nothing about the teacher she admired so much.

"Yes, but I'm not very good at it"

"I bet you are better than you think you are" said Emily, blushing. "I do like to paint too, from time to time, I'm doing portraits right now"

"Portraits, huh? I would like to see them sometime. Only if you want to show them to me, of course"

"Yeah, I'd like that" said the teenager, and followed Ms Henley into the kitchen.

Ms Henley took two glasses out of the kitchen cabinet and poured herself some orange juice.

"Are you sure you just want water?" she asked. "I have a very good tasting pineapple juice here you will love. Or if you prefer, there's also apple, orange, and cherry juice, but I wouldn't recommend the latter, it has a funny taste"

"No, just water's fine, thank you" said Emily. "How come you live in your mother's house? I thought..."

"That I was married?" laughed Ms Henley.

"Well yeah..." answered Emily, wondering if that had been an indiscreet question to ask her teacher.

"I don't live here with her, I live alone. And no, I'm not married" she chuckled, when Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Good for you. I m-mean... you're still young..." she stammered, mentally cursing herself. Eager to change the subject to avoid further embarrassment, she added: "You know, when I was standing outside I wondered whether it was your house, it just doesn't seem like you"

"Really? Why not? Don't you think I could have good taste?" teased Ms Henley.

"No no it's not that" said Emily quickly. "It's just... well it's a beautiful house and all but it's not homey. I pictured you living in a small cozy apartment with maybe two or three kittens and a pair of budgies"

"A pair of budgies, really? So you think I'm a sad old spinster?"

"No, not at all" said Emily blushing heavily. "It's just, you're so beautiful yourself, you don't need to surround yourself by pretty things"

Oh shit. Emily couldn't believe she had just said that out loud, but luckily, Ms Henley didn't seem to mind.

"Thank you, Emily" she said genuinely. "That was about the nicest thing someone has said to me in a long time"

"Anytime" said Emily, nervously biting on her nails.

"Anyway, shall we start?" asked Ms Henley. "There's a piano in the dining room"

"You have a piano too?" asked Emily in awe.

"My mother" reminded her Ms Henley.

She waited until Emily had drunk her water, and then guided her into the dining room.

* * *

Neither of them noticed how quickly the time passed, both being completely absorbed in the music. It was not until it began to grow dark outside that Emily remembered Henry had said he would pick her up in three hours, and after a quick glance at her watch, she saw two had already passed.

"Do you have to go, Emily?" asked Ms Henley

"Not yet. But I'm kind of hoarse already, maybe we should continue another day"

Ms Henley nodded.

"You know, Emily, I didn't invite you just to practice your songs" she said.

"You didn't?" asked the brunette, a little perturbed.

"No. See, as a teacher my job consists not only of teaching you the things relevant to the curriculum, I also have a responsibility for my students' general well being. I have been observing you for quite some time now, and you seem more distracted than usual. Emily, is there something you want to tell me?"

Emily sat down at the table, and supported her head with her hands.

"Not really" she said evasively. "Why do you ask?"

"Well... I noticed you behavior has... changed over the past couple of weeks" said Ms Henley, weighing her words carefully.

"I thought I was doing well" mumbled Emily "I'm even participating in class"

"You are right, but I don't mean your participation in class, which has really improved since the beginning of the school year. It isn't the play either, you've been really enthusiastic about it since we've started, and I like that. But lately you... don't seem like yourself, and frankly I'm worried about you. Is there something going on at home? Are you in some sort of trouble?"

"No... Well, I did something foolish and I got grounded, but it was a one time thing. I'm fine, really, you don't have to worry"

Emily could tell her teacher was not convinced, but she didn't know what more to say. There was only one person in the world who really knew her worst nightmare, and it wasn't even JJ. Ms Henley knelt in front of her, a frown on her beautiful face.

"Emily you're an excellent student, but I'm more worried about what is going on in here" she said, touching her own chest. "God knows I hadn't it all figured out at your age either, and I was very confused too, but to me it seems like... like you're trying to run away from something"

"What do you mean? I'm not trying to run away from anything" said Emily a little louder than she had intended.

"It seems to me that you're afraid to feel" said Ms Henley, searching for Emily's eyes. "And I'm afraid that if you stay that way you will never allow yourself to really surrender to your true emotions"

Emily remained quiet, looking at her lap. When she finally looked up, she found herself captivated by the older woman's bright green eyes that were gazing at her with nothing but deep understanding. Emily saw a flickering of something else in them, but it was over so quickly she wasn't able to pinpoint it. She suddenly became very aware of Ms Henley's hands stroking her own. No doubt the teacher's intention was to encourage her to talk to her, but her touches did have a very different effect on Emily, thus her reaction was withdrawing her hands as if she had touched something hot.

"I'm sorry" said Ms Henley, clearly misinterpreting her gesture. "I want you to know you can always talk to me, Emily. I might not be old enough to be your mother, but maybe you could think of me as an older and slightly wiser friend or sister that just wants to help you out"

"Thank you, Ms Henley" whispered Emily, not being able to hold back her tears any longer. "I'm sorry" she said. "I've been crying an awful lot lately"

"That's a good sign, dear" said Ms Henley, patting her softly on the head.

An unexpected bang startled them both. There was someone in the house! Didn't Ms Henley live alone? Emily looked at her, frightened.

"Good Lord, that's my mother again" said Ms Henley impatiently.

The door to the dining room opened, and Emily did not believe her eyes when she saw who came marching in.


	22. Mrs Simmons

Emily looked from Principal Simmons to Ms Henley, not knowing how to react or what to say. Mrs Simmons stood there like a ticking time bomb, and Ms Henley seemed ashamed of herself for no apparent reason.

"Miss Prentiss, it would be best to leave now" said the principal. "My daughter will take you home"

"Mother" said Ms Henley in what was merely a whisper. "We weren't finished yet"

"Well you are now" said Mrs Simmons coolly.

"My... Henry is going to come and get me" squeaked Emily. "I appreciate it, but it really isn't necessary that your daughter... I mean Ms Henley..."

"Miss Prentiss, do not question my reasons" said the elderly woman sternly. "Isabelle, you heard me. Drive Miss Prentiss home. Now"

In the middle of all this confusion Emily couldn't help but to think what a pretty name Ms Henley had, and how well it suited her beauty. _Isabelle_...

"Mother, I do not appreciate you coming to my house and tyrannizing me" replied Ms Henley calmly. "I was working with Emily, and as I said, we're not quite finished"

"_Your _house?" repeated the principal mockingly, making Emily's hair stand up on the back of her neck.

"Really mother, we're doing this now?" said Ms Henley, her confidence growing with every word. "I'm paying you rent, like a regular tenant, and that does grant me some rights. You can't just show up unannounced, I though I had made myself clear about that"

"As a matter of fact, I can, darling. And you should _thank _me for that. Now, will you please drive this girl home?"

"Or what?"

"Isabelle, I'm warning you..."

"I stopped being afraid of you long ago, mother. I'm sorry you have to hear all this" she said, addressing Emily.

"Isabelle!" called Mrs Simmons again, her voice rising dangerously.

The young teacher didn't say anything, she simply grabbed her keys and stormed out of the kitchen. Emily was petrified, she felt like an intruder, this was clearly something between Ms Henley and her mother, and she shouldn't even have witnessed it...

"Miss Prentiss, what are you waiting for?"

"Sorry, Mrs Simmons. Goodbye ma'am" said Emily, and hurried after Ms Henley, who was already waiting in the car.

Ms Henley was awfully quiet on their ride to Emily's house, and Emily didn't want to upset her even more by asking the questions that were going through her head. She was relieved when the car turned into her street and stopped abruptly in front of her grandmother's house.

"Emily, I can't tell you how sorry I am"

The girl looked at her teacher, alarmed. Ms Henley's voice sounded – broken.

"It's ok, I have a mother like that, too. We're not very close" she said, not sure if Isabelle would find any solace in her words.

"How did you become such a good person?" asked Ms Henley absentmindedly. "With a mother like that?"

Emily shrugged, that surely was a weird question... "I could ask you the same thing" she finally said, offering Ms Henley an unsteady smile. "Anyways, I have to go. Thank you very much for driving me home. See you at school, Ms Henley"

"Wait, Emily" said the young woman, putting her hand on Emily's to stop her from getting out of the car. Emily looked at Ms Henley's hand on hers and swallowed.

"Yes?" she croaked.

"Nothing, I just... I hope you know how special you are" whispered Isabelle.

"Ms Henley..."

"You are. Don't let anybody make you feel any different" She squeezed Emily's hand, and then let go of her.

"Thank you" mumbled the teenager, and got out of the car, feeling a little nauseous.

* * *

At the Jareau's, a blonde fifteen year old girl was feeling rather miserable. Since her breakup with Ian, JJ hadn't talked to Emily, fearing that if her friend asked her what was wrong, she would loose it. Emily had enough on her plate already, she didn't need a best friend moping around. Jennifer threw herself on her bed and buried her face in her pillow. Why the hell was everything so complicated?


	23. That's What Friends Are For

**Hello :) Again, I'm sorry for the short chapters! Hopefully after my finals in a couple of weeks I will have more time to write, looking forward to it :) I'm glad you thought Emily having a crush on her teacher was a good idea. Anyways, here's another chapter, enjoy :)**

* * *

_"She's what?" _

"She's her _mother_" repeated Emily for the third time now.

"_I still don't believe it" _said JJ through the telephone.

"Me neither, it's just... weird"

"_And she was bossing Ms Henley around?"_

"Yupp, pretty much. She was really mean, and she didn't want me to be there"

"_Wow!"_

"She reminded me of Elizabeth" said Emily, her fists clenching involuntarily.

_"Who?"_

"Mrs Simmons. She reminded me of my mother..."

"_Oh, that bad, huh? Poor Ms Henley..."_

"Yeah I felt really bad for her, and she was so sweet to me... I really like her a lot"

There was a longer pause than usual on the other side of the line.

"JJ, are you still there?"

"_Yeah. Sorry Em I had to... there's something I have to tell you"_

"What is it?" asked the brunette eagerly, the way Jennifer had said it, it sounded like something big...

"_Ian and I broke up..."_

"Oh. I'm sorry JJ" said Emily, wondering why she felt like laughing.

"_I mean, we weren't really a couple, but it still hurts, you know?"_

"I can imagine. I'm really sorry I can't come over... Why did you break up though? I thought everything was going well..."

"_It was my fault, I blew it. Apparently he thinks I care more about you than I care about him, and he said he was tired of coming second..."_

Emily's cheeks began to burn, and she swallowed hard.

"_Emily?" _

"I'm sorry JJ I have to go, I'll call you later ok? We still have a couple of minutes left. I'm sorry about Ian"

"_Emily wai-"_

But Emily had already hung up.

"_Emily Prentiss, you're one complicated woman" _stated Jennifer before she hung up too. Her friend had always been better at expressing her feelings through writing. She remembered how they had said goodbye almost five years ago now. Emily had barely looked at her, but the book and the poem she had given JJ had more than compensated her for that. Where was the book, anyway? She had hidden it along with some of Jackie's stuff, but she didn't remember where. She began to tinker around clumsily in her closet, but the book was nowhere to be found. When she was almost ready to give up, she stumbled upon a tiny red notebook. She took it and wiped the dust off, and two golden letters appeared, embossed in the red cloth. _J.J._

* * *

"Who is it?" asked Emily after she heard a soft knock on her door.

"Emily, there's someone here who wants to see you" said Henry. "May I open the door?"

"If you like..." said Emily moodily, closing her book and getting up from her beanbag.

"Derek! Hey... What are you doing here? I'm still grounded for another day..."

"It was impossible to turn this young man away" said Henry with a small wink. "He says he has brought you your homework, that's very considerate, isn't it?"

"I guess so" mumbled Emily.

"I'll leave you two, then" said Henry, closing the door on his way out.

"So... hey princess" started Derek, not sure if he was allowed to hug his friend. She didn't seem to be in a particularly good mood today. "How are you doing?"

_I'm confused, I'm angry, I'm feeling very sad for some reason, I'm glad Jennifer broke up with Ian even if I should feel bad for her, I feel like kicking you for being here, but I wish you would hold me instead and tell me I'm not going crazy..._

"I'm fine. Thanks for coming..."

"I already told you you're my favorite girl" said Derek matter-of-factly.

"I don't deserve to be your favorite girl" replied Emily gloomily. "I've been a lousy friend to both you and JJ, I push you away all the time, and just now JJ told me she broke up with Ian and all I could think was that it was about time they split up... I'm a horrible person, I don't know why either of you puts up with me..."

"That's easy to answer, we do it because we both love you" said Derek simply. "And you're not that bad" he added playfully. "But I think it's about time you stopped sulking in self-pity and realized just how wonderful and desirable you are, and of how much you're capable of if you just try. As your friend, I'm giving you a kick in the ass with all my love, Prentiss. You can't always hide in your shell, you know"

"Your absolutely right" said Emily sheepishly. "Thanks Morgan, I needed that"

"Anytime, princess. That's what friends are for"


	24. The Letters

Ambassador Prentiss sighed and massaged her temples with her hands. She had had an awful day at work, and all she craved for was a quiet afternoon at home with a Caesar salad and _crème brûlée_ for dessert while listening to some classical music, but she couldn't. A huge stack of folders, documents and letters awaited her on her desk, and she never had been the kind of person who procrastinated. She went to the kitchen and poured herself some red wine, a _Château Mouton-Rothschild_ she had been saving for a special occasion, like Emily's birthday, but seeing as it was very unlikely the almost seventeen-year-old would ever want to talk to her again, she might as well treat herself to something special as a reward for working extra hours.

Scenes from the last encounter with her daughter came flooding back to her head as she sipped on her glass and tried to focus on her work without any success.

"_Emily, I'm very glad you came to see me. Take good care of yourself and don't disappoint me" _

"_It sure as hell will never happen again, mother. Save your money next time instead of buying me a plane ticket. I don't want anything from you, I'm done"_

"_What on earth are you talking about? If this is about you wanting to leave for college..."_

"_It's not, mother. Guess what. Jennifer goes to my school. But I'm sure you already knew that"_

"_That's wonderful, dear. I'm happy you found each other again after all these years. I've always liked that girl"_

"_Really? So, let's see. I suppose you don't know what happened to all the letters she send me, do you? And I guess you don't know what happened to the ones I wrote her, either"_

"_Emily, let me explain..."_

"_No! Save it, I don't want to hear any more lies. Did you really think you could get away with this? I hate you!"_

Elizabeth Prentiss smiled sadly. She knew she had brought this on herself, and she couldn't blame Emily for being mad at her, though she had really hoped she would come around eventually. But nothing of the sort had happened, if anything, Emily was even angrier than before, and she rejected any advances her mother would make.

Elizabeth unlocked the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a blue box. It contained the evidence of her betrayal, letters that were never meant for her, but that she had read anyway. Actually, there were so many of them she had only opened about half of them, focusing on the ones Emily had sent right before moving back to the States.

It had been weeks, months even since she had talked to Emily over the phone, and the teenager hadn't answered any of her postcards either. In a sudden twinge of regret, she decided to open all of Emily's letters, realizing that a lot would probably not have happened if she had been more involved in her daughter's life. She wished she had found more time to talk to Emily and that she had listened more carefully to what the teenager had tried to tell her all this time. She had been a fool, and she had been blind not to notice that every act of rebellion, every single swearword, the loud and noisy music, the smoking and the alcohol abuse, and Emily's overall display of recklessness had been nothing but a cry for help.

What kind of mother was she that she had driven her own child to take such desperate measures in order to be heard?

She took the first letter out of the box, and opened it carefully. She knew going behind her daughter's back once again and violating her privacy was the wrong approach in regaining her trust, but there was no way in hell Emily would tell her what had been troubling her besides the obvious, and she knew something was not right with her little girl. She hoped reading the letters would help them rebuilt their strained relationship, if not right now, then in the near future.

Emily had written with black ink on baby blue paper, and Elizabeth's trained eyes quickly scanned through the text. She had so much correspondence to answer on a daily basis that she finished reading in no time. She was not prepared for the terryfying things Emily had written, but once she had started, she couldn't stop herself.

_I have a boyfriend, his name is Josh and we've been together for four months now. My parents don't know about him because he's five years older than me, they would totally kill me. They still believe I'm a virgin..._

_Jen I don't know why none of my letters seem to reach you, but I'm writing anyway because my mom could read my diary, and if I write to you at least I can pretend that what I have to say matters to someone, that you're reading it but just can't answer for some reason. Something horrible has happened Jen, I'm so scared, I haven't even told Matty yet, I'm afraid this will hurt him too..._

_Jen, it's done... I feel horrible. I know you probably would have handled it differently, but please don't hate me for this. I know everyone always thinks I'm the strong one, but the truth is I'm not. You are. You were never afraid of facing your fears or admitting you had any. I just run away all the time, but I couldn't, not this time. Matty knows, and soon I'm telling my parents. I'm so afraid, Jen._

_Jen, I know it's been years and I never got an answer, but please, I just need to know you haven't forgotten me. Last time I didn't tell you everything. Remember I told you about Josh? He actually didn't do anything, it was-_

The following words had been crossed out, and there were evident traces of tears on the paper that had smudged the ink and had made some words unintelligible. In spite of this, she could decipher everything, and against all odds, a single tear left Ambassador Prentiss' eye, falling onto her daughter's letter and mingling with the dried ones Emily had shed over it almost two years ago. Elizabeth crumpled the paper and threw it into the fire, watching how the flames consumed it completely in mere seconds. However, there was no way the flames could extinguish the past, but she felt she had to destroy all the evidence that pointed to the crime she had just read about. Because that's what it was, a crime, and for the first time in her life Elizabeth Prentiss realized she bore a considerable amount of responsibility for what had happened to her daughter.

* * *

"_Josh, please listen to me!"_

"_Emily I'm done with you! How could you do this? Damn, I loved you!" _

"_Josh it wasn't my fault, please listen to me. Whatever he's telling you, he's lying"_

"_I don't wanna hear it ok? He warned me something like this would happen. How am I supposed to feel about this?"_

"_Baby please, just listen..."_

"_No! We're done. You're a freak, you know that? You make me sick!"_

"_Josh, please!"_

"_I said no! Go to hell Emily, I never want to see you again!"_

"_No, stop it! STOP!"_

Emily awoke with a startle. This was not good. She hadn't had this dream in months, and now it was back again, more vivid than ever. She got up and went to the phone, and called JJ's number, but hung up almost instantly. JJ didn't have a phone in her room and she didn't want to wake her friend's parents, so she quickly dialed another number.

"Hello? It's me, Emily. I'm so sorry to bother you..."

_"Emily? What's wrong? Are you crying? What happened?"_

* * *

**I know you are waiting for some romantic interaction between JJ and Emily... and it's coming, don't worry! Originally I wanted to split this story in two parts, but I think I'm going for a longer fic now, and there will be plenty of Jemily moments for you to enjoy... In the meantime please read and review, and if you got any ideas of what I should include, please don't hesitate to write them to me... I'm very nervous about my upcoming exams and I'm a little stuck with the story... **

**Take care :)**

**Edit: So who do you think Emily called?**


	25. What Are We Going To Do?

Another two weeks passed without any unusual events; school was dull as always, with the exception of Literature Class and play rehearsals. Emily caught herself thinking about Ms Henley more than once after school hours, mainly when she was lying alone in her bed unable to fall asleep; but closing her eyes was not much of a relief either, as the same recurring nightmare would haunt her night after night, making her squirm in her sleep and bolt upright with a horrifying scream. Henry, who was a light sleeper, would come into her room most of the times and silently rest his hand on her forehead while exhaustion compelled her to close her eyes again. His presence was able to drive the grotesque, horribly distorted faces away, even if it was just for a moment. The fact that he was the only soul who knew about her nightmares strengthened their bond of complicity, and his presence was enough to soothe her for the rest of the night. Emily missed waking up hearing JJ's unmistakeable snoring sounds and feeling the warmth of her skin when they were lying side by side on either of their beds. JJ didn't need to hear her screaming, Emily could vividly imagine what her reaction would be, and it was the last thing she needed right now, but she was running out of excuses. Whenever JJ called to ask if she wanted to come over, she felt cornered and thus refused, knowing how much her seemingly cold attitude hurt JJ.

Friday at drama club, there was no way of evading her, but luckily for Emily, Ms Henley made JJ and Ian rehearse all of Cosette's and Marius' scenes together, which didn't give the blonde time to bombard her with questions. Although JJ knew her text by heart, the words seemed to have fallen out of her head, and having to act like she was in love with Ian made it worse.

"A heart full of love. A night full of... full of..." JJ searched the room for Emily's eyes, but Emily was looking outside the window, her gaze fixed and her mind far away.

"A night full of you" whispered Ms Henley, but Jennifer didn't hear her, she was staring at Emily, who was still oblivious.

"Alright, 10 minutes break" said the young teacher, looking discreetly from one girl to the other. "Jennifer, may I have a word with you?"

* * *

Emily splashed her face with water and looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Gosh, she looked terrible. Sleep deprivation did not suit her, she had dark circles around her eyes, her hair was a mess and her already pale complexion made her look like a vampire who desperately needed to feed on some fresh blood. She moistened her hands and ran her fingers through her hair in an effort to flatten it a little. "Great, now I look like a wet poodle" she grunted, washed her hands, and moved away from the sink.

"You look great, you don't look like a poodle at all"

"JJ! Good gracious, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I wasn't. Been here the whole time" said the blonde, leaving her spot by the door and hesitantly approaching the brunette, as though she was afraid Emily was really a vampire who would suck all the lifeblood out of her.

"What about Ms Henley, didn't she want to talk to you?" asked Emily while gently massaging her temples. Her day just kept getting better, she was having the worst headache, and she hoped the churning sensation in her stomach wasn't a symptom of her monthly menstrual cramps.

"She already did. You've been here for over twenty minutes, she asked me to come and get you"

"Really? That long? Oh crap, I didn't notice... Is she mad?"

"Emily, this is Ms Henley we're talking about. She's not mad, she's worried. And you're up, so..."

"Ok let me just..."

"Emily, you look fine"

"Liar"

"Emily, let's just go. You've been looking like this the whole day..."

"Gee, thank you" said Emily, feigning hurt.

"You know what I meant" replied JJ, stepping closer to her and gently rubbing her back. "What's the matter, are you sick?"

"No, I just need some sleep. I'll be fine" she said, managing to plaster a halfway convincing smile on her face.

"I know something that will make you feel better now"

"Really? Do you have a chocolate bar hidden somewhere behind your back? Because I could really-"

Before realizing what was going on, Emily felt JJ's lips pressing against hers, and she felt electrified and wobbly, and warm and cold at the same time, and she wanted to break the contact but she couldn't; JJ's lips were soft and sweet and chapstick sticky, and they smelled like strawberries and mint bubble gum. Throwing all caution into the wind, she wrapped her arms around the younger girl's waist and pulled her closer, their bodies naturally merging together. When JJ parted her lips, Emily plunged her tongue into her mouth and for three wonderful seconds, she completely lost track of time and space; all she sensed was JJ, and it was almost like something in her unraveled, allowing her to savor this kiss and all what came along with it.

JJ was the first to pull away, breaking the enchantment of the moment and bringing Emily back to reality. She still felt weak in the knees, and there were not only butterflies, but the animals of an entire zoo in her stomach. JJ was looking at her expectantly, and when Emily dived deep into those blue eyes, she found her own fears and desires reflected in them.

"Oh JJ" she whispered once they both had somewhat recovered from the shock. "What are we going to do now?"

* * *

**So that was a long pause... Chapter 26 is almost ready, and if you're nice to me I might post it today ;)**


	26. Undisclosed Desires

**JJ's bedroom, a couple of weeks earlier**

"JJ, I think we should start studying. Isn't your quiz tomorrow already?"

The pair was sitting cross-legged on Jennifer's bed, with the content of their pencil cases scattered around them and JJ's 10th Grade Math Book resting on Emily's lap. At the absence of a reaction on the blonde's part, Emily waved her exercise book around in the air, causing JJ to awake from her daydream.

"Stop shoving that thing into my face" she complained with a pout when Emily wouldn't put the exercise book down. "It's no use, I'm going to fail anyway"

"Now that's the spirit" Emily said sarcastically. "Come on JJ, you can do it. You just need to focus and get started already" she added encouragingly and started to write some exercises down for JJ to solve.

"I'd rather do something else... I just can't deal with functions and inequations right now" JJ replied in an almost whiny voice.

"Tough luck. Your parents are paying me to tutor you, and I'm not going to let them waste their money" was the brunette's stern answer.

"Come on Em, give me a break. Besides, they insisted on paying you..."

"I know. It just doesn't feel right to accept money from your folks, they've been so nice to me and you're my-"

"...best friend" Jennifer completed her sentence and grinned.

"Yeah. But I gotta admit it feels good to earn my own money, you know? So please don't ruin it for me" she joked, and threw an eraser at the younger girl, dodging when it came flying back in her direction.

"Right. Because you so _desperately _need it" teased JJ.

"Another word about it and we're doing math" said Emily in her best strict school teacher imitation. She put exercise and text book down on the bed and looked at her friend with inquiring eyes. "Alright, I suppose we can do this later. What do you wanna do instead?"

The blonde hesitated and pondered for a moment whether she should answer, giving the prospect of freaking Emily out.

"Let's just talk..." she replied unconvinced, nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

Emily looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Ok. What do you wanna talk about?"

JJ looked down at the palms of her hands, her mind racing fast. She had one specific topic in mind, but maybe... just maybe she should start with something not that compromising.

"How does it feel to have sex?" she then asked out of the blue, looking full of expectation at the older girl and continuing to knead her hands. Emily felt like laughing, she hadn't heard that question in a long time, and JJ had never struck her as someone who felt uncomfortable talking about this kind of things.

"How does it f- JJ, are you a virgin?" she asked carefully, perceiving it was a sensitive topic for her friend, but not being able to grasp the true reason why.

"You ask as if it was something bad..." JJ answered, slightly offended. "And to answer your question, yes, I still am. That's why I was asking..."

"Sorry, I just thought..."

"What, that I slept with the entire basketball team?" JJ asked sourly. "Probably a lot of people think that"

"But I'm not one of them" Emily replied softly. "If kissing a couple of guys earns you that reputation, then screw them. If they knew what I did..."

"What did you do?" asked JJ curiously. "Stop being so secretive, Prentiss"

"Nothing, nothing" said Emily hastily. "But honestly, I thought you and Ian..."

"Ian? No way... I mean, I told him from the beginning I wanted to wait until my sixteenth birthday so... we still haven't done it"

Emily took a moment to reflect on what JJ had just told her. "Is that the only reason you haven't?" she asked carefully.

JJ shrugged. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know... I guess I'm afraid to fall in love with him, and I heard it hurts... does it really hurt that bad, Em?"

"Well... I don't think it's the same for every girl. My first time was quite nice actually, and it didn't hurt as much as I was expecting. I don't think you have to worry too much about Ian, he's a nice guy, I'm sure he will be gentle"

Emily could not believe she had just said that, why did she always have to dig her own grave? Then again, Ian really was a nice guy, and JJ seemed to like him...

"Did you bleed a lot?" JJ wanted to know.

"I don't think so... I didn't really see anything down there though, we turned off the lights"

JJ nodded. "Was he big?"

Emily took a short moment to think about her question.

"From what I felt, average, I suppose. Not too big"

"I cant imagine having it... inside you"

"I was worried about that too, but with the right foreplay you should be fine"

"I guess..."

"What more do you want to know?" asked Emily.

"Well... you still haven't said how it feels"

"I don't know how to describe it... you'll have to experience it yourself... it's kind of weird, but it's nice to be that close to someone, especially if you love them. And it's definitely not the same as..."

"As what?"

"As touching yourself" Emily stated, and despite the half-light that surrounded them, she could almost feel JJ blush.

* * *

**Present day**

_"What are we going to do now?" _

"We could do it again" proposed JJ, smiling lovingly at the girl she had just kissed.

"We could get caught" Emily objected. "Besides, Ms Henley must be wondering where we are. We better get back..."

Jennifer reached for her arm to prevent her from leaving. "Wait"

The dark-haired girl turned around, the spot where JJ was holding her arm felt like it had just been ignited. "What?"

"Come to my place after school. Please?"

Emily looked at her and languidly shook her head. "I don't know JJ..."

"I'm not trying to seduce you here" Jennifer assured earnestly, causing Emily to chuckle involuntarily. "But I think we need to talk"

"I'll need to ask Henry" replied the brunette evasively. "Now let's get back already, I don't want to get into trouble"

* * *

**Later, Jennifer's bedroom**

"Just lay here beside me, please. We can talk some other time"

"JJ"

"Please"

Who could resist her when she looked like that? Emily sighed and lay down on the bed, making sure to keep a safe distance between them. Her head needed to stay clear, for now. Later, she wouldn't be able to tell how much time they had just laid there being completely quiet, listening to the raindrops patting against the window. Jennifer's parents were out having dinner, it was their romantic evening of the month, and Emily felt somewhat uncomfortable they didn't know she was there. The rain was making her drowsy, and just as her eyes were starting to shut, she felt JJ's hand brushing over her hair, making her sit up with a start.

"JJ, what are you doing?" she asked, alarmed. The blonde stopped, and contemplated her for a while. When JJ moved closer to whisper something in her ear, she held her breath and just stared at the younger girl for a while. This had to be a dream...

Emily swallowed hard when JJ pressed her lips against hers for the second time that day, instantly parting her lips to allow JJ entrance. The kiss escalated quickly, the lust that had been building up for months in both of them was released, and they fervently pressed their bodies against each other, until the need of oxygen made them part.

"Are you sure you want this?" Emily asked gasping for air, her pupils dilating as JJ started to undress, pulling her sweatshirt over her head.

"I've never been so sure about anything, Em" she whispered, and lay down on the bed again.

Emily's hands trembled as she removed Jennifer's shirt and hot pants and began tracing soft lines with her fingers on her bare skin. She started in the valley between the blonde's breasts and slowly continued further down, circling her friend's belly button several times and skipping the triangle between her legs, thus moving her fingers to JJ's inner thighs. JJ was shivering under her caresses, Emily was the first person she had allowed to touch her like that, to strip her almost naked. The brunette got on top of her and began following the invisible route her fingers had drawn with her lips, leaving delicate kisses and a trail of hot air on JJ's quivering skin. She sat astride on Jennifer's legs, pinning her down on the bed and leaned forward to meet JJ's mouth in a tender kiss. The blonde's lips parted slightly as Emily began nibbling her bottom lip and her earlobe, alternating between the pulpy skin of the latter and the exquisite, delicate one of the first. Jennifer's head tilted back and she shut her eyes, submitting herself completely to Emily's touch.

To Emily, it all felt unreal, like a pleasant dream, but a dream nonetheless. She tried fiercely to block the sensations that were beginning to stir as she continued to explore JJ's body, foolishly trying to convince herself that she was merely doing her friend a favor, but her own body's responses telling her otherwise. The sunset had now almost completely wrapped them into darkness, and the absence of light made it a lot easier for her to pretend she wasn't diving into dangerous waters as she continued to kiss and fondle Jennifer. The blonde's voice catapulted her back to reality. She stopped her movements and leaned back, trying to shift her weight onto her legs on each of JJ's sides. "Emily", JJ continued calling her name "Don't stop, please" she said, and moved her body beneath Emily's, urging her to continue lavishing her skin with caresses.

"I can't" she said regretfully. "I'm sorry JJ but I can't do this... This isn't something I can 'teach' you, it's wrong and weird on so many levels..."

Emily could feel JJ's body stiffen as she pulled away and rolled to her side of the bed, wrapping herself in the blankets as she did.

The lights were turned on, and suddenly JJ's face was just mere inches away from hers.

"Emily, why are you fighting this so hard?" she asked "It's nothing to be ashamed of"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Emily hissed, pulling the blanket up to her nose.

"Sure, continue acting like nothing happened, like we didn't kiss or that you don't stare at me when you think I'm not looking. I'm not stupid, Emily, I know you like me" Jennifer ranted, with the desperation of someone whose needs had been left unfulfilled.

"Leave me alone" Emily said, panic rising in her voice. If she had been that obvious, what it possible that other people had noticed it too? Fuck...

"No, I won't leave you alone. I left you alone long enough... Emily I want this... Please, stop being so stubborn"

"Really? Because I was under the impression that you wanted to practice for when you could go and have real sex with some boy" Emily said, the pain she was feeling clearly audible in her words.

"I'm sorry, Em. I just thought that you wouldn't want to do it if I..."

"If you what?" the brunette asked, sitting up straight and looking expectantly at JJ with wide eyes.

"If I told you I... I like you too" Jennifer admitted, looking at Emily with a mixture of hope and anxiety.

Emily smiled at her, but her smile faded seconds later, and her eyes became dark with worry.

"What is it?" asked the blonde and raised both eyebrows. "I mean it, Em. Even if I thought you'd figure it out by yourself. For someone that smart, you're a little slow on the uptake when it comes to these things, you know?" she teased, trying to make the smile reappear on Emily's face.

"JJ" Emily began slowly, and the blonde could see how she struggled to find the right words. "We can't cross that line again. Ever. I can't like you like that. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you..."

"Lose me? Why would you... Emily, didn't you hear what I just said?"

"Every single word" replied Emily, her mouth feeling thirsty and her head dizzy. "Look, if we... take this path, both of us or at least one of us will end up hurt sooner or later. I don't want that to happen. It could ruin our friendship"

"It doesn't have to" whispered JJ and wrapped her arms around Emily's shoulders. "We can be friends and... lovers"

"No, we can't" said Emily and freed herself from JJ's embrace by shaking her arms off. "You can't just go and choose whatever fits your whim, being my friend at school and kissing me at night. I need you as my best friend, and I need a relationship, but that relationship just can't happen with you..."

"Emily..." said JJ, her voice trembling now. "It wouldn't be like that, and you know it"

"Really? JJ, look what happened to you and Ian. Or all the other boys you've been with. It never lasted. Why should it be any different?"

"Because..."

But Emily didn't let her finish. She jumped up from the bed, dragging the blanket behind her and leaving the room as quietly as possible given the agitated state in which she was in.

* * *

**First of all... thank you all for your reviews! You really made my day :) Second, I owe you a huge apology! I underestimated the amount of time I would be spending studying for my exams... I hope the chapter somewhat made up for it ;)**  
**To clara: I apologize for the drama haha, I kind of feel it's more realistic this way. I mean, look at how Emily acts in the series, for instance when she didn't want to buy that house because it had "cracks", or the fact that we never see her dating (except when she was undercover, and that other time I forgot about...). Plus, this story takes place in the late 80's/early 90's, and I believe the whole coming out thing was harder then... Anyways, I'm thinking I will make her come to her senses in the next chapter, so don't worry ;)**

**Thanks everyone for reading :)**


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